We here at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel pride ourselves on our knowledge of words.  For words are the medium through which we communicate.  The wrong choice of words can lead to misunderstanding.  Like the other night at the bar when I asked the college girl if she would like to touch it.  She misunderstood me.  Hence the taser.  Perhaps a different choice of words would have resulted in a different outcome.  I’ll never know.  Especially now that I’ve been ordered to stay 50 feet away from her.

What was I talking about?  Oh yes.  Words.  As as service to my readers who may be confused by the happenings in Washington  I now present the Official Dictionary of Barack Obama.

Bilateral

adj.

1. Being forced down the throats of Republicans.
2. To forcibly make one’s political enemies grovel.
3. An agreement one makes to avoid being called a racist.

For example: The bill to  to raise taxes and confiscate guns was a bilateral agreement.

Republican

noun.

1. A party of elected officials who really wish they were cool like the Democrats.
2. A racist.
3. A self-loathing person who deep in his heart wants to be a Democrat and will vote for Democratic policies whenever he gets the chance.

For example:  The Republican cried when he realized he was not invited to the Democrats’ part that had all the Hollywood celebrities.  He felt shame and promised to vote Democratic so his Democratic friends would think he was cool.

Teabagger

noun.

1. A racist.
2. A person who wants lower taxes and enjoys resting his testicles on your chin.
3. A racist.

For example:  The Teabagger put on his Klan hood and burned a cross on a person of color’s front lawn.  He did this because he wanted lower taxes as a way of keeping the black man down.  And after burning the cross he will rest his testicles on your chin.

Boehner

noun.

1. Bitch.
2. Personal bitch.
3. One who bends over frequently.

For example:  Man did you see the way that Boehner folded? He gave me everything I wanted.  I’m going to make him mine and he’s going to love it.

One man one vote

1. A phrase used in certain sections of the United States, frequently rural, “red” states where a man votes once and only once.
2. An anti-democratic principle.
3. Used by racists to keep minorities in their place.

For example:  We all have one vote.  This will disenfranchise minorities since the white man outnumbers them.

The Chicago Way

1. American values at their finest.
2. Standard operating procedure for the Democratic party (see definition no. 1)
3. Never bring a knife to a gun fight.

For example:  You wanna know how to get the Republicans?  They pull a knife, you pull a gun.  He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue.  That’s the Chicago way.  And that’s how you get the Republicans!

Vacation

noun.

1. A period of pleasure, rest or relaxation.
2. Something all Americans do 40-50 weeks a year.
3. Any excuse to play golf!

For example:  Being President is hard.  Those Republicans are racist.  I deserve a vacation.  I think I’ll jet off on Air Force One to Hawaii.  Lots of good golf courses in Hawaii.

Debt

noun.

1. Something owed, such as money.
2. A good thing.
3. Frequently opposed by racists.

For example:  Yes, we are 16 trillion dollars in debt but only a teabagging, racist Republican would think this is a bad thing.  Debt is good.  I mean, I’ve never held a private job or taken a course in economics but it’s all good.  Right?

And there you have it readers.  The dictionary of Barack Obama.  Hopefully this brief sampling will help you to make sense of the goings on in Washington.

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