Browsing the blog archives for April, 2013
The case of alleged Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev reveals the special stresses and strains of immigrants in an increasingly intolerant and right-wing America. Interviews with classmates of Tsarnaev reveal a lonely and conflicted recent immigrant, desperately trying to fit in and become “American” yet prevented from doing so by the very Americans that surrounded […]
Due to the budget cuts slight decrease in increased spending mandated by the sequester it has been announced that Fleet Week 2013 has officially been cancelled for New York City. “Sadly this is true” New York mayor Michael Bloomberg informed reporters. Because the teabaggers forced draconian budget cuts slight decrease in increased spending upon the […]
For the past few days many people have been wondering about my whereabouts. And not just the usual suspects (parole officers, ex-wives, pimps I owe money to, trannies I haven’t paid). No, the respectable, internet-dwelling readers of this blog have wondered where I have been. Last Friday after spending some time watching the news (apparently […]
Note: 6:40 am, April 19th. This post was written before the events of this morning. The Federal Bureau of Investigation today released photos of the prime suspects in the Boston Marathon bombing. As a service to my readers I now present the photos, complete with FBI analysis. Official Release from the office of FBI Director […]
Proving once again his mastery over the elemental forces of life, President Obama held a poetry jam today in the White House, an event that could possibly be the most important thing to ever happen in the history of the world. Dazzled reporters were left temporarily at a loss for words. The Sun rose in […]
Shortly after three pm local time two bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. In the 24 hours since the tragedy unfolded and with no hard news as to who is responsible, I, as a member of the mainstream media must lay the blame squarely at the feet of the Republican […]
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has had his office bugged, leading to embarrassing revelations about his campaign against the puffy-faced martyr Ashley Judd. “This is just like Watergate” said Democratic National Committee chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz. The similarities are striking. In Watergate we had an evil Republican seeking dirt on political opponents. Now we […]
Local caveman representative Og, of the house of Og has blamed his tribe’s low economic numbers on the continued presence of heavy packs of ice throughout his place of residence. “Numbers not good. Og take heat” he told cave reporters. Og blame extenuating circumstances. Things better if not for weather. Look at ice. Ice advance […]
It has been announced that President Barack Obama has agreed to appear on Season 17 of Dancing with the Stars. “President Obama is excited about the opportunity” said Press Secretary Jay Carney As a sophisticated intellect he enjoys opportunities like these to get away from the stresses of being America’s chief executive. Why just the […]
I really should update my Rolodex more often. Or at the very least I wish I had read this article Old phone number for Yankee tickets now belongs to sex hot line before I called the Yankee customer service number that I had listed in my contacts. I might have avoided lots of trouble. And […]