A guilty looking Mitch McConnell

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has had his office bugged, leading to embarrassing revelations about his campaign against the puffy-faced martyr Ashley Judd.

“This is just like Watergate” said Democratic National Committee chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

The similarities are striking.  In Watergate we had an evil Republican seeking dirt on political opponents.  Now we have an evil Republican seeking dirt on political opponents.  In Watergate Nixon ordered the break in of the Democratic National Committee’s headquarters.  Now we have a Republican whose office is illegally wiretapped.  Um.  You know what.  Let’s not talk about the wiretapping.  That it irrelevant.  Instead let’s talk about the climate of hate that spewed from McConnell.  That’s the real story. Not the so-called “bugging” of his office.  I mean he’s a Republican. He deserved to be bugged  And I thank god we did so we could find out exactly how hate-filled this man is.

Ashley Judd (Puffy Faced-TN) expressed outrage over the bugging.

I am shocked and outraged that McConnell would say such things about me.  This is yet just another example of the politics of personal destruction practiced by McConnell and his ilk.  How the tape came into being is irrelevant.  It doesn’t matter if his office was bugged.  The important issue here is that he said bad things about me. And that’s not nice. And not being nice is not nice.  Almost as not nice as pink fuzzy socks on a rack.

A Kentucky Democratic operative claimed that a local liberal group was behind the so-called bugging but that it was not a big deal.

They used an iPhone.  And iPhones are cool.  See.  Totally not illegal or creepy like Watergate. Besides technically it wasn’t his office that was bugged.  The iPhones have great microphones.  We were actually standing outside his office taping the conversation.  Again, with an iPhone.  And iPhones are cool.  Just like Steve Jobs.  This was totally not Nixonian.  Besides why are we talking about the so-called bugging?  The important issue at stake is the mean things he said about Ashley Judd.  That’s what we should be talking about.  We should concentrate on achieving social justice for puffy faced people everywhere!

Democratic National Committee spokesman Brad Woodhouse says that the party does not condone secret tapings.

We would never secretly tape someone.  Not like Nixon.  But this was a semi-public taping using an Apple product. So I don’t understand the outrage over the so-called taping.  It’s manufactured outrage.  What we should be talking about is the comments McConnell made.  Now we can see what sort of person he really is.

Indeed there have been calls from around the nation for McConnell to step down from office for allowing himself to be bugged.  A group calling  itself “Justice for Puffy Faced” has asked for his resignation.

“By letting his office be bugged McConnell has proven himself unfit for public office” said their spokesman.

Meanwhile the FBI has become involved in the investigation.  Said a representative from their Louisville office:

We probably should look into it.  Yeah, I suppose it was an illegal bugging.  Then again I  work for the FBI so it’s not like I know anything about the law.  But you know what bugs me?  The things McConnell said on that tape. That is the important issue.  That is what we should be investigating!

As for McConnell, he remains defiant (and hateful.)

“I will not resign or apologize.  I have done nothing wrong.  And Ashley Judd is a puffy faced insane woman.”

Note:  Senator McConnell may not have actually said the last part about Ashley Judd.  But it has a ring of higher truth to it.  I call upon all America to bug the offices of all Republicans.  This must be done to weed out hatred.

It’s for the children.

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