Browsing the blog archives for March, 2013
Popular television personality Bert was found dead today in the house she shared with his good friend Ernie. Police have arrested Ernie and charged him with homicide. From a distance the Bert and Ernie story seemed like a rare Hollywood success story: A stable, long-term relationship. But upon closer inspection a seedy underside came into […]
Despite being an Irish Catholic as a member of the mainstream media it is sometimes my duty to bravely take a cold, hard, objective look at world events. And the election of a new Roman pontiff is no exception. Yes readers, it was painful to do this. Some say I am being brave. Remarkably, extraordinarily […]
Being a member of the mainstream media grants me access to some of the most important movers and shakers in America today. And with that in mind I am pleased to welcome our honorable Secretary of State John Kerry to the pages of Manhattan Infidel. MI: Welcome Secretary Kerry. JK: Mombo dogface banana patch. […]
Over the years at Manhattan Infidel I have had the pleasure of interviewing many figures one on one but today I will have the my first ever roundtable discussion. Joining me in the roundtable will be Morrissey, Jim Carrey, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and a horse. MI: Good day to you all gentlemen. Morrissey: I […]
As a responsible journalist pay me to lie for you I often get a chance to talk with my fellow journalists about important issues of the day. And so in that spirit I am pleased to introduce to my readers Fox news contributor Juan Williams. MI: Juan, it is a pleasure to have you […]
The baby made famous in the the E-Trade commercials has entered rehab, citing an addiction to “poop” brought on by “stress and dehydration.” “It’s true” said the baby’s agent. My client is going through a very rough patch in his life right now. The stress of his career, the fame, all this came on […]
Drone strikes have been much in the news recently. Drone strikes against foreign nationals. Drone strikes against U.S. citizens on foreign soil and now the possibility that the government might use drone strikes on U.S. soil. With this controversial topic in mind I was surprised and honored when our Attorney General Eric Holder agreed to […]
Famed socialist, friend to the poor, friend of Hollywood, close ally of Sean Penn redistributed his life today. The announcement came at 4:25 local time by Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro. It is true. Our great leader is dead. Because he cared for the poor and the environment so much, and since he knew […]
The Friday deadline has come and gone. Sequestration is now the law of the land. Drastic, life-changing 2.3 percent cuts to the budget reduction in planned increased spending is affecting everyone. Even yours truly. As soon as the sequestration was in place I was working the phones, calling up all my sources, trying to […]
Hello to all our fellow unarmed Americans from the Democratic National Committee! Greetings and salutations! By now you are reaping the many benefits of the Democratic party’s wise gun confiscation policy. Crime has gone down (at least the bad types of crime.) Our schools are safer and a new era of peace on Earth has […]