Browsing the blog archives for May, 2012

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XVI)

  Then Barack spoke to the multitudes and to his disciples in the mainstream media Saying:  The congressman and senators have sitten in their seats in the Capitol building. And they love the first places at campaign dinners, and the chairs in first class on airplanes. And to appear on talk shows and be called, […]

Remarkable New Bin Laden Audio Released! (With Apologies to Paul Anka)

When Navy seals raided Bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan and killed him they also discovered the master terrorist’s computer.  The documents on that computer were a treasure trove of information on Bin Laden and al-Qaeda.  Using my contacts in the mainstream media just give me the f#$#ing audio and no one gets hurt I am […]

More Victims of Romney's Bullying Come Forward

Fast upon the heels of the shocking revelation that the presumptive Republican presidential nominee taunted and viciously bullied a gay classmate, other victims of Romney’s sadistic mean streak have come forward to tell their tales. “He used to come into my diner all time time” said one man. Usually I wouldn’t let the college kids […]

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Body Preserved in Wade Boggs

In what could be a first scientists have discovered a 2000-year old body fully preserved inside former baseball player Wade Boggs after Boggs went to his doctor complaining of “gasiness and feeling bloated.” “I thought maybe I had an ulcer or something” Boggs told doctors later. Instead, upon giving Boggs an endoscopy doctors were startled […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XV)

  And Barack answering, spoke again in parables to them, for Barack is very very smart. The  Kingdom of Socialism is likened to a government employee who made a marriage for his son and his lover in a state that recognized their union. And he sent emails and texts to call them that were invited […]

The Ranking of Presidents, Part II: The Cool

Following up on yesterday’s post where I cataloged the top five uncool presidents I now present my listing of the top five cool presidents of all time (excepting President Obama, who we all know is, was and ever will be, the coolest thing ever.) The Cool: Teddy Roosevelt. What made Teddy Roosevelt cool? Perhaps it […]

The Ranking of Presidents, Part I: The Uncool

Recently CBS news asked the question:  Why would America want to vote against the coolest President ever?  And I’d have to agree.  Obama is so cool.  I mean he talks the NCAA.  The ladies of the View think he’s cool (and that’s good enough for me.)  Men, well in the press anyway, have man crushes […]

Manhattan Infidel's Guide to Establishing Your Native American Heritage

Recently the issue of native American heritage has been in the news  with the discovery that Elizabeth Warren, Democratic nominee for Senator from Massachusetts. is native American.  In my perambulations around the Island of Manhattan there has to be a bar around here that hasn’t kicked me out people often ask me how they can […]

Lindsay Lohan to Play Britney Spears in the Courtney Love Story

  E! Entertainment Television plans to film a biopic of the Courtney Love story. While roles are still being cast it has been announced that the all-important role of Britney Spears will be played by Lindsay Lohan. Said an executive with E!: We are proud to have Lindsay Lohan on board for this project.  I […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XIV)

And when they drew nigh to the elections Barack sent two disciples in the mainstream media. Saying go ye into the village where the rubes live and immediately you shall find an ass and a 2009 Cadillac limo nicknamed “The Beast” that I use to travel around:  loose them and bring them to me. And […]