The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XV)

 The Kingdom of redistribution is at hand!

And Barack answering, spoke again in parables to them, for Barack is very very smart.

The  Kingdom of Socialism is likened to a government employee who made a marriage for his son and his lover in a state that recognized their union.

And he sent emails and texts to call them that were invited to the marriage; and they would not come.

Again he created a facebook page about the wedding, saying:  Behold, I have prepared my dinner; my arugula and other green low cholesterol food is ready.  Verily I say, it is bland but healthy.

But they neglected until he put meat on the menu, and went their ways, one to his oil rig, and another to his Wall Street office.

But when the government employee had heard of it, he was angry and sent out another text calling them murderers and threatening to burn their city.  For he can say this as it is not a hate crime when progressives say it.

Then he saith on his facebook page:  The marriage is indeed ready; but they that were invited are selfish capitalists, exploiters and profit-seekers.

And going forth into the college campuses and communes he gathered together all they that hate capitalism and loveth socialism:  and the marriage was filled with guests.

And the government employee went in to see the guests: and he saw a man talking about drilling for oil and building a pipeline from Canada to the Gulf.

And he saith to him:  Friend, how camest thou hither not having on the garment of socialism?  But he was silent.

Then the government employee said:  Bind his hands and feet and call him a racist for he hates Gaia and cast him outside:  there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth when he misses the arugula dessert.

Then the conservative Democrats going, consulted among themselves how to ensnare him in his speech. 

And they said, tell us therefore, what dost thou think, is it lawful to pay your fair share of taxes or not?

But Barack knowing their betrayal of socialism said:  Why do you tempt me, ye southern rubes?

Show me a coin.  And they offered him a quarter, for the Fed stopped making pennies because they cost more to make than they are worth.

And Barack saith to them: Whose image is on the quarter?  Yeah verily I know it is a racist slave holder.

They saith to him:  George Washington.  Then he saith to them:  And did not this racist consider it his duty to pay his fair share of taxes?

And hearing this they wondered, and leaving him went home to their districts and voted Republican.

Then came to him the conservatives, who say there is no socialism; and asked him,

Saying:  Constitutional scholar Barack, If a man die, having no son, shall not the government appropriate all his property?

Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first died and left his property to his brother.

In like manner the second, and third, and so on to the seventh.

In the Kingdom of Socialism therefore does the government still get the property?  For they all left it to a family member.

And Barack answering, said to them:  You err, not knowing the tax code, nor the power of the Federal government.

For in socialism they shall not pass on their property to family members; but shall give all to the government to redistribute the wealth.

And the multitudes of his disciples in the mainstream media hearing it, were in admiration at his doctrine.

And one of them, a political reporter at a cable news network, asked him:

Good lord Barack, which is the greatest duty of American citizens?

Barack said to him:  Thou shalt love the Federal government with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy mind.

This is the greatest and first duty in a Republic.

And the second is like to this:  Pay your fair share of taxes.

And no man was able to answer him a word: neither durst any man from that day forth ask him any more questions for they are no match for Barack’s intellect and knowledge of the Constitution.

[To be continued.]


5 Responses

  1. !And the second is like to this: Pay your fair share of taxes.”

    That is a good idea. I read in some book that we should all tithe 10%. That ought to make Lord Barack shit his pants.

  2. I have never felt more wise reading these Scriptures.


  3. Bob Agard says:

    Linked here:
    I am glad you were there to record the words exactly as they were spoken.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: Repent and believe in socialism.

    Bob A: As a blogger no sacrifice is too great to report the news.

  5. I’m surprised no one got a thrill up their leg, or was it down their leg… No wait, down the leg is what happens when leftists confront real tyranny. My bad.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>