Browsing the archives for the The Gospel of Barack Obama category

The Gospel of Barack Obama (Part XXI)

And the day after the election, when it began to dawn that Barack had lost came Scarlet Johansson and Cameron Diaz to see the sepulchre and be photographed at it. And behold there was a great earthquake caused by climate change, for the science is settled.  And an angel of redistribution descended from Chicago and […]

The Gospel of Barack Obama (Part XX)

And when morning was come, all the chief strategists of the Republican party of capitalism took counsel against Barack, that they might put him to defeat. And they brought him bound and delivered him to Debbie Wasserman Shultz, the chairperson of the Democratic party of Socialism. Then Joe Biden, who betrayed him, brought back his […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XIX)

And it came to pass, when Barack had ended all these words, he said to his disciples in the mainstream media: You know that after two days shall be the elections, and the son of socialism shall be delivered up to the red states. Then were gathered together the chief strategists of the Republican party […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XVIII)

  Then shall the kingdom of heaven be like to ten virgins, who taking their free birth control went out to meet the bridegroom and the bride to get their freak on. And five of them were foolish and did not use birth control, and five wise who did. And the bridegroom tarrying, they all […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XVII)

And Barack being come out of the White House went away.  And his disciples in the mainstream media came to shew him the buildings of Washington D.C. And answering, said to them:  Do you see all these things? Amen I say to you there shall not be left here a stone upon a stone unless […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XVI)

  Then Barack spoke to the multitudes and to his disciples in the mainstream media Saying:  The congressman and senators have sitten in their seats in the Capitol building. And they love the first places at campaign dinners, and the chairs in first class on airplanes. And to appear on talk shows and be called, […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XV)

  And Barack answering, spoke again in parables to them, for Barack is very very smart. The  Kingdom of Socialism is likened to a government employee who made a marriage for his son and his lover in a state that recognized their union. And he sent emails and texts to call them that were invited […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XIV)

And when they drew nigh to the elections Barack sent two disciples in the mainstream media. Saying go ye into the village where the rubes live and immediately you shall find an ass and a 2009 Cadillac limo nicknamed “The Beast” that I use to travel around:  loose them and bring them to me. And […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XIII)

The kingdom of Barack Obama is like a householder who got his house through a loan from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac who went out early in the morning to hire illegal aliens for his vineyard. And having agreed with the laborers for a penny a day (for he was a tightfisted racist), he sent […]

The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XII)

  And it came to pass when Barack had ended these words he departed Washington D.C. and went back with Michelle to New York for another shopping spree. And great multitudes tried to follow him but as half of the city was closed down by the Secret Service they were late for work. And there […]