The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part XII)

 The Kingdom of redistribution is at hand!

And it came to pass when Barack had ended these words he departed Washington D.C. and went back with Michelle to New York for another shopping spree.

And great multitudes tried to follow him but as half of the city was closed down by the Secret Service they were late for work.

And there came to him Republicans tempting him, and saying:  Is it lawful for a man not to give his younger lover free birth control?

Who answering said to them:  Have ye not read in the papers about the growing gender gap in voting?  And he said:

For this reason shall a man always provide free birth control since that’s all women care about.

The Republicans say to him:  Why then do we not favor free birth control for women?

He saith to them:  Because or your hardness of heart.  For not giving women free birth control is part of your war on women and leads them to give birth to children, and bringing a child into this overpopulated world is an abomination and leads to global warming.  Yeah, a polar bear may drown.  And whosoever is responsible for one of these little polar bears drowning shall not be forgive in this election cycle or the next.

Then were little children presented to him, that he should impose hands upon them and pray;  And his disciples in the mainstream media rebuked them.

But Barack said to them:  Suffer the little children, and forbid them not to come to me:  for we must indoctrinate them early.

And when he had  imposed hands upon them, he departed to a Broadway show.

And behold one came to him and said to him:  Good master who lowers sea levels, what good shall I do that I may have Democrats over me everlasting?

Who said to him:  Why asketh thou me concerning good?  One is good, Jeremiah Wright.  But if thou wilt have Democrats over you, keep the commandments.

He said to him:  Which? And Barack said:  Thou shalt not murder, unless it is a white Hispanic, Thou shalt not commit adultery without providing free birth control, Thou shalt not steal unless it is from the 1%.

The young man saith to him:  All these I have kept from my youth, what is yet wanting to me?

Barack saith to him:  If thou wilt have Democrats over you everlasting, go sell what thou hast, and give your fair share to the government and provide your house as a place where Michelle and I can relax.

And the young man went away sad:  for he had just steam-cleaned the place.

Then Barack said to his disciples in the mainstream media:  it is easier for Mexican gangs to buy guns from the United States than for the 1% to willingly pay their fair share.

Then Joe Biden answering, said to him:  Behold I have left my senate seat and followed thee:  What therefore shall I have?

And Barack said to him:  Amen I say to you, that you, who have followed me, when Barack shall have his own monument in Washington as a tribute to his constitutional scholarship you shall judge the 57 states.

And everyone that hath left house or lands for my name’s sake shall receive an hundred-fold from the taxes taken from the 1%.

[To be continued.]


6 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    >>>And the young man went away sad: for he had just steam-cleaned the place.


  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn. Yeah, verily did the carpet mites attack them.

  3. Biden only gets to judge 57 states? What about all those states west of the Mississippi?

  4. If this fellow wants to talk about hardness of the heart, look in the mirror when it concerns girl babies who survived abortion.

  5. “And Barack said: Thou shalt not murder, unless it is a white Hispanic, Thou shalt not commit adultery without providing free birth control, Thou shalt not steal unless it is from the 1%.”

    Truly, Barack is a wise and generous Lord.

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: Biden doesn’t recognize those as being states. To him they are still territories.

    RWT: He seems to have a problem in that area.

    Shamus: A wise and generous community activist you mean?

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