At that hour the disciples in the mainstream media came to Barack saying:  Who thinkest thou is greater in the kingdom of the Democratic party? And Barack calling unto him a person of color, set him in the midst of them, And said:  Amen I say to you, unless you become as dependent children […]

  And after six days Barack taketh unto him Joe Biden, Eric Holder and Nancy Pelosi of the nip and tuck, and bringeth them up into a high mountain apart from the rubes: And he was transfigured before them. And his face did shine as a local Chicago community organizer without a real job or […]

And there came to him moderate Democrats and Fox news anchors tempting him:  and they asked him to reduce gas prices. But he answered and said to them:  When it is evening you say:  Time to watch Bill O’Reilly. And in the morning:  Time to watch Fox and Friends.  You know how to discern the […]

Then came to him from the heartland of America conservatives and teabaggers, saying: Why do thy disciples transgress the Constitution? But he answering said to them:  Why do you also transgress the principles of socialism and redistribution? But you say Thy gift of my taxes are too high. And he that shall not honor thy […]

At that time Hugo Chavez heard the fame of Barack. And he said to his servants:  This is Sean Penn:  he is risen from the dead and therefore mighty works of redistribution shew forth themselves in him. For Hugo had apprehended Sean Penn and bound him, and put him in prison because he was annoying. […]

  The same day Barack going out of the house, sat by the sea side.  (Which he was able to do having lowered sea levels.) And great multitudes were gathered together unto him and some of them even fainted. And behold he spoke to them many things in parables, saying:  Behold the capitalist went forth […]

 At that time Barack and his wife went through the expensive and trendy restaurants and being hungry they began to eat. And the Republicans seeing them said:  Behold your wife and you do eat and drink and fly in private planes to eat and drink in the middle of a recession. But Barack said to […]

  And having gathered his cabinet and czars together he gave them power to tell private insurance companies what they must cover for free. Heal the sick and give them birth control. pills.  Cleanse the lepers and give them condoms.   Do not possess gold, nor silver but only treasury-backed paper money.  But do not […]

And when he had come down from the John Hancock building, great multitudes followed him. And behold a woman needing birth control pills came and adored him, saying:  Lord Barack, if thou wilt it, thou canst supply me with abortifacients. And Barack, stretching forth his hand, touched her saying: I will.  Be thou supplied.  But […]

Be at agreement with thy Federal Government at all times: lest perchance the Feds deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Amen I say to thee, thou shalt not go out from thence till thou repay the Government the last farthing (or your […]