The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part X)

 The Kingdom of redistribution is at hand!

And after six days Barack taketh unto him Joe Biden, Eric Holder and Nancy Pelosi of the nip and tuck, and bringeth them up into a high mountain apart from the rubes:

And he was transfigured before them. And his face did shine as a local Chicago community organizer without a real job or responsibility:  and his garments I am the Obama! became a goofy panama hat and goofy wide open collar.

And behold there appeared to them John and Ted Kennedy talking with him.

And Joe Biden answering said to Obama:  Lord Obama, constitutional scholar Obama, greatest intellect of our generation Obama, it is good for us to be here:  if thou wilt, make Marilyn Monroe appear for she is hot!

And as he was yet speaking, behold a bright cloud (though it might have been an explosion caused by a home-made bomb) appeared to them.  And lo, a voice out of the cloud (or home-made bomb), saying:  I am Bill Ayers.  This is my beloved Obama, in whom I am well pleased:  hear ye him.

And Biden, Holder and Nancy of the nip and tuck fell upon their faces, and could not breathe because of the dust particles kicked up from the cloud (or home-made bomb).

And Barack came and touched them but not in a sexual harassment way: and said to them, Arise, and breathe through this inhaler, for it has pure air. 

And lifting up their eyes they saw no one but only Obama.

And as they came down from the expensive and exclusive private club on the mountain, Barack charged them,, saying:  Tell the vision to no one, for the non-compassionate Republicans will use the vision against me in the elections.

And when he was come to the multitude, there came to him a man falling down on his knees before him saying:  Obama, have pity on my son, for he is a lunatic (though I shouldn’t call him that for the language dost be judgmental and bullying), and suffereth much:  for he falleth often into the fire, and often into the water.

And I brought him to Kathleen Sebelius, your Secretary of Heath and Human Services, and she could not cure him but fined me for not having insurance.

And Barack rebuked him, and the devil (but not to be judgmental for there is no such thing as evil. Hey it’s all good!) went out of him, and the child was cured from that hour.  Then Barack advised the father that his son need not get a job as he could stay under his coverage until he was 26 years old.

And when they abode together in Washington, Barack said to them:  The ideological Son of Bill Ayers shall be betrayed into the hands of non-compassionate Republicans:

And they shall defeat him in the fall election, and the third day he shall rise again with a show on MSNBC.  And they were troubled exceedingly.

And when they came into the White House, Barack, saying to Joe Biden:  What is thy opinion Joe?  Who follows EPA mandates?  The rubes or we privileged Washington insiders?

And Joe said, The rubes of course.

And Barack said unto them:  Then we are exempt.  And flew he off on Air Force One to go to a Broadway show and shopping with Michelle.

[To be continued.]


5 Responses

  1. “Nancy Pelosi of the nip and tuck…”

    Granny Rictus McBotoxImplants for the win!

  2. It’s time for the rubes to unite and throw out this false prophet…right after we get our free lunch.

  3. innominatus says:

    >>>shall rise again with a show on MSNBC.

    And hey, if that doesn’t work out, I hear Current TV is hiring.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: Without the botox she’d probably look like Jabba the Hut

    JCF Ha!

    Inn: Nah, Barry the prophet demands more viewers than Current TV can provide.

  5. Nancy of the nip and tuck, 🙂 I like that one.

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