The Gospel According to Barack Obama (Part III)

The Kingdom of redistribution is at hand!

And when he had come down from the John Hancock building, great multitudes followed him.

And behold a woman needing birth control pills came and adored him, saying:  Lord Barack, if thou wilt it, thou canst supply me with abortifacients.

And Barack, stretching forth his hand, touched her saying: I will.  Be thou supplied.  But don’t tell the meddlesome priests.

There came to him a fellow Chicago community organizer, beseeching him.

And saying, Lord Barack, my assistant lieth at home sick with herpes and is grievously tormented.

And Barack saith to him:  I will come and heal him.  Because my 1000 page plus health care reform makes this possible.  As long as he isn’t too sick.  In which case I will hand him over to the death panel.

And when he had come to the other side of the water, into the country where the hick Republicans lived, there met him two that were suffering from psychological afflictions.

And behold they cried out, saying:  What have we to do with thee, Barack, community organizer?

And there was not far from them a herd of many Irish drinking in a pub.

And the psychologically disturbed individuals besought him, saying:  If thou cast us out hence, send us into the herd of Irish.

And he said to them:  Go.  But they going out went down into the Irish and behold the whole herd put Black 47 on the jukebox and got into violent arguments.

And when Barack passed on from hence he saw a man sitting in the Senate, named Joe Biden.; and he saith to him:  Follow me.  And Joe arose up and followed him.

Then came to him many common folk, saying:  Why do we fast often but you and the First Lady do not but have extravagant parties and shopping sprees?

And Barack said to them:  I’m with the Federal government.  I’m entitled.

And Barack went about all the cities and towns, preaching in their synagogues and temples (but not Catholic churches) saying, Pass this jobs bill.  Congress is do nothing.

Then he saith to his cabinet and czars, The elections coming up are indeed great, but the Democrats are few.

Pray ye, therefore that more Democrats get elected to do my will.

(To be continued.)


5 Responses

  1. We are truly blessed. We could have had Satan in the White House instead of just the community organizer of evil.

  2. innominatus says:

    Yea verily, a Tea Partier named Judas Iscariot…

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: Blessed are the Obama acolytes.

    Inn: Verily I say unto thee: Racist!

  4. Matt says:

    All Hail Obama!

    Or is that Hypnotoad?

  5. LSP says:

    For he spoke as one having, er, authority…

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