The Gospel of Barack Obama (Part XX)

The Kingdom of redistribution is at hand!

And when morning was come, all the chief strategists of the Republican party of capitalism took counsel against Barack, that they might put him to defeat.

And they brought him bound and delivered him to Debbie Wasserman Shultz, the chairperson of the Democratic party of Socialism.

Then Joe Biden, who betrayed him, brought back his etch a sketch saying:

It’s broken!  But they said:  What is that to us?  look thou to it and read the instruction manual.

And casting down his etch a sketch, he departed:  and went and bought a Lite Brite.

But the chief strategists of the Republican party of capitalism having taken the etch a sketch, said: Hey, all it needs are batteries.  God Joe’s an idiot.

And after they had consulted together they brought the etch a sketch to a pawn shop and with the price of it bought a burying place for strangers.

For this cause that field is called The Field of Etch a Sketch even to this day.

Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Hasbro the prophet, saying:  And they took an etch a sketch, the price of him that was prized and they bought a Lite Brite because Joe is an idiot.

And Barack stood before Wasserman Shultz and she asked him saying:  Art thou the king of redistribution? Barack saith to him:  Where’s George Clooney?  We were supposed to go golfing.

And when he was accused by conservative Democrats he answering nothing.

And Wasserman Schultz said to him:  Dost thou not hear how great testimonies of socialism they allege against thee?

Now upon the solemn day of election Wasserman Schultz was accustomed to release to the people one prisoner.

And she had then the notorious prisoner that was called Arlen Specter.

They therefore being gathered together, Wasserman Shultz said:  Whom will you that I release to you, Specter or Barack that is called King of Redistribution?

For she knew that for fear of losing their elections the conservative Democrats had delivered Barack.

But the conservative Democrats asked for Specter.

Wasserman Shultz saith to them:  What shall I do then with Barack that is called King of Socialism?

They say all:  Let him be defeated!

Wasserman Shultz said to them: Why?  What evil has he done? He has increased redistribution and our debt?

Then she released to them Specter, and delivered Barack unto union goons.

And spitting upon him they said:  Nice administration you got there.  Shame if somethin’ were to happen to it.

And they came to the place called Georgetown.

And they gave him beer to drink mingled with sliders.

And after they had roughed him up, they took his clothes, that it might be fulfilled which was said:  Da King of socialism?  Yeah, he be naked.

And they sat and watched him scurry about for his clothes.

And they wrote in permanent magic marker on his head:  THIS IS BARACK THE KING OF REDISTRIBUTION.

And they that passed by wagged their heads saying: He trusted in redistribution;  let him now have socialism redistribute him:  for he said, I am the son of redistribution.

Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over the whole earth, no doubt caused by man-made climate change, until the ninth hour.

And about the ninth hour Barack cried with a loud voice, saying:  Michelle, Michelle, my belle these are words that go together well, my Michelle, get me the hell out of here!

And immediately one of the union goons running took a beer and gave it to him to drink.

And others said:  Let it be, let us see whether Michelle will come to deliver him.

And Barack crying again with a loud voice yielded up consciousness.

And behold the election results came in and the veil of the temple of the Mainstream Media was rent in two from the top even to the bottom and the Earth quaked, and rocks were rent because of man-made climate change and the earth’s dismay that Barack had lost.

And the graves were opened:  and many bodies of the saints of socialism that had slept arose,

And coming out of their tombs came into the city and eateth human flesh for they were now zombies, the fault no doubt of nuclear power.

And there were many women afar off, who had followed Barack because of the Republican party’s war on women.

And when it was evening, there came a certain rich man of Hollywood, named Leonardo DiCaprio who also himself was a disciple of socialism.

He went to Debbie Wasserman Shultz and asked for the the body of Barack.  Then Wasserman Shultz commanded that the body should be delivered.

And Leonardo, taking the body, did admire it before wrapping it up in a clean linen cloth that had been recycled.

And laid it in his own new monument, which he paid for with the residuals from The Beach.

And the next day the conservative Democrats came together to Wasserman Shultz,

Saying:  Ma’am, we have remembered that the socialist said, while he was yet President:  I will win reelection.

Command therefore the grave to be guarded lest his disciples in the mainstream media come and steal him away and lie about the election results and say to the people:  He has been reelected; and the last error will be worse than any the mainstream media did before.

Wasserman Shultz saith to them:  You have union goons. go, guard it as you know.

And they departing made the grave sure, sealing it and setting burly and ill-tempered union goons to watch it.

[To be continued.]


One Response

  1. Wasser-persom Shultz needn’t have sent the union goons. God don’t resurrect no piss ants.

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