More Victims of Romney's Bullying Come Forward

Young preppie and vicious sadistic bully Mitt Romney

Fast upon the heels of the shocking revelation that the presumptive Republican presidential nominee taunted and viciously bullied a gay classmate, other victims of Romney’s sadistic mean streak have come forward to tell their tales.

“He used to come into my diner all time time” said one man.

Usually I wouldn’t let the college kids anywhere near my diner but he looked respectable.  Preppie-like.  So I let him in.  That was a big mistake  Immediately he started taunting me, asking for more ketchup. He kept saying “May I have more ketchup please?” and “I need more ketchup over here.”  I couldn’t take his bullying anymore.  It changed my life and started my downward cycle.  I lost all interest in companionship, abandoned my wife and started beating up puppies.  Eventually I was caught and went to jail.  And I blame Romney and his taunting!

Linus Van Pelt (pictured here) Linus Van Pelt, whose worldview was shattered by the sadist Romney tells his sad tale of suffering at the hands of a cruel and twisted Romney.

I used to be happy.  I used to believe!  Then I crossed paths with Romney.  It was Halloween eve and I was sitting in a pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin.  Romney comes along and says, “Hey kid, what’cha doing?” I told him I was waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive.  He laughed and said “You know there is no such thing.  You should become a Mormon.”  Up until that moment I had never doubted my faith.  But after this sick twisted bastard I lost it all.  I no longer believe in anything.  I live in a studio apartment, drink every night and usually wake up covered in my own vomit.  Romney you bastard!

Marvin the Martian Mitt Romney makes me angry, very angry indeed! tells reporters that Romney broke his spirit.

I met him when he was a young man.  He said my helmet made me look like a “hoplite.”  Me!  Marvin the Martian!  Martians are superior in every way to humans.  And this sadist calls me a hoplite?  I was so humiliated by his bullying I dropped my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.  Do you know how long I had been working on that?  I cried.  I broke down and cried.  Mitt Romney makes me angry, very angry indeed!

Indeed!  I ask all Americans:  Is this the man we want as our President?  A sadist.  A taunter. A bully with no conscience, regard or feelings for his fellow man?

Can our fractured, bleeding, divided country take four years of Romney and his climate of hate in the White House?

The answer my fellow citizens is no!  Our country is suffering from a bullying epidemic.  We need examples of tolerance.  Mitt Romney is not that man.

And that is why I am endorsing Dan Savage This man will bully and silence bullies for President. Dan Savage.  The man will silence and bully all bullies.



3 Responses

  1. Dan Savage is the dreamiest most sensitive bully ever.

  2. Savage? We already have a gay president. Are you sure you want another?

  3. “Can our fractured, bleeding, divided country take four years of Romney and his climate of hate in the White House?”

    Don’t forget the war on women, gay women too.

    But careful not to confuse the republicans war on women with the mass killing of female, even gay ones in the womb, that’s championed by liberals. That’s not killing, that’s giving them the freedoms and rights them bastard republicans would deny them otherwise.

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