Browsing the blog archives for December, 2009
A reading from the Gospel of Al Gore: And it came to pass when Al Gore had finished that he said to his disciples “You know that after two days I will be delivered up to those who deny the scientific truth of global warming.”Now on the first day of the global warming conference in […]
Today it was learned that a 20-year old part-time college student from Sheboygan Wisconsin has admitted to not sleeping with embattled golfer Tiger Woods. The 20-year old, who wishes that her real name not be used, admits that she feels “left out” and has written Tiger asking for an assignation. “At first it didn’t bother […]
From the White House front lawn Katie Couric looks into the camera: Katie Couric: Greetings from the House of Noncolor. All three major networks (and we don’t consider Fox a major television network) are proud to simulcast President Obama’s Non-denominational End of Year Holiday Spectacular. I’d like to introduce my cohost, MSNBC political reporter Chris […]
Governor David Paterson (D-NY) hoping to offset a record budget deficit for New York State has announced plans to sell Long Island. With a budget deficit approaching $55 billion and the state on the verge of bankruptcy Paterson announced today that he will be selling Long Island to the New York Yankees. The Yankees plan […]
Hoping to modernize their image and avoid the embarrassment of racist imagery the Washington Redskins announced that they will be changing their name effective with the beginning of the 2010 season. “Let’s face it” said a team spokesperson, “Our team sucks. We need a distraction. Also, there is a law against having logos that denigrate […]
65 Billion B.C. (or is that B.C.E.) A conference of dinosaurs today concluded that the Earth is “dangerously close to brink of being unsustainable to all life” and recommended drastic dietary and lifestyle changes. The global warming conference was heavily attended by dinosaurs from throughout the world. The conference opened with an address by the […]
In keeping with my policy of allowing guest commentary it is my privilege to have God visit my humble blog: Thank you. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank The Manhattan Infidel for letting me say a few words even though I do disapprove of his name. First off let me say that I’m kind […]
Just back from a trip to the Far East that saw President Obama continue his trend of bowing, White House physicians are worried that this trend might harm the President’s soft, malleable backbone. “We first noticed this disturbing trend in Saudi Arabia” said a physician associated with the Administration. “While we have no objections to […]
With the Thanksgiving Holiday past and the Christmas season upon us the annual tradition of celebrity famine singles is in full swing. From his home in Dublin, U2 Frontman Bono said “I remember back in ’86 when me, Bruce, Cyndi, Tina, Lionel and that other guy – no not the drunk from Long Island – […]
Worldwide sensation Barack Obama brought his act to West Point and performed in front of a packed crowd at Eisenhower Hall. Security was tight as Obama and his backup band The Obamas were led to the stage by a phalanx of state troopers. Obama thanked the crowd for coming and launched into his no 1. […]