Browsing the blog archives for September, 2009

The 2009 New York Yankees: MacGyver Would Approve

A day after bringing out their “C” team, the Yankees once again brought out their “A” team.  Jeter, Teixeira, AROD, Swisher and Damon started.  Once again, behind in the bottom of the 9th, seemingly helpless, the Yankees pulled another miracle victory out of the hat.  If they had only used a shoelace and a paper […]

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American League East Champion New York Yankees Win Again

On Sunday the Yankees clinched the American League East with a victory over the hated Red Sox.  (And what does Boston do?  That’s right.  Bahstahn sawks cack.) The Yankees have clinched the A.L. East and home field advantage throughout the playoffs essentially making the last 6 games of the year about as meaningful as my […]

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Mexican Swim Team Drowns in Rio Grande

It was learned today that the entire Mexican National Swim Team has drowned in the Rio Grande River.  Mexican President Felipe Calderon, in announcing the tragedy said “This is the worst calamity to befall Mexico since the last Mexican Swim Team drowned in the Rio Grande, which in turn is the worst calamity to befall […]

NYU Announces New Spring Offerings

New York University today announced its complete Spring curriculum, including several new controversial courses.  John Sexton, President of NYU when announcing the schedule said “We wish to emphasize the diversity, forward thinking milieu and commitment to progress that has always been our specialty.” First among the new offerings is “Gender Bias in the New Testament”, […]

U.N General Assembly Causes Massive Global Warming in Manhattan

The recent U.N. General Assembly meeting attracted many world leaders to the tiny island of Manhattan including Muammar al-Gaddafi,  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and President Barack Obama.  Topics of concern to the U.N. included a debate on who was the better Darrin on “Bewitched”, why the Mets suck, how come hand dryers never get your hands dry […]

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Chickens Protest Ernie Anastos

The fallout from local New York City anchor Ernie Anastos’ on air comment to “Keep f*&%^&g that chicken” continues.   What started as a seemingly harmless on air expletive (see below) has morphed into an incident that has left New York City in chaos. Keep F*^&#*% That Chicken: Thousands of enraged chickens marched up 6th Avenue […]

RNC Unveils New “You Like Me. You Really Like Me” Slogan

Editors note:  My friends often ask me (well, okay I have no friends)……so I get emails (okay, I get no emails…well, I do get emails but they are usually of the ‘last notice before foreclosure’ or ‘stay away from my daughter’ variety)….anyway, sometimes when I do not take my medication the voices in my head […]

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Your Daily Horoscope

Once again The Manhattan Infidel has expanded the scope of his site to better serve his readers.  I now present your Daily Horoscope: Aries (March 21st – April 19th) You will be discovered pleasuring yourself to downloaded pictures of Rue McClanahan.  Mortified, embarrassed and filled with self-loathing and shame you will enter rehab.  In rehab […]

England to Rebuild Hadrian’s Wall

It has stood for two millenium.  Now in ruins, a fragment of its former glory, Hadrian’s Wall on the northern border of England  is going to be rebuilt. “We realized we were sitting on a tourism goldmine.  Everyone wants to see the wall, such as it exists now.  So why not bring it back to […]

A Conversation with Jimmy Carter

Today I was lucky enough to sit down with former President Jimmy Carter and discuss a number of topics, including racism in America. I began by asking President Carter if he believed that Joe Wilson’s outburst was racially motivated. “Definitely” he replied.  “I think it’s based on racism.  There is an inherent feeling among many […]

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