Browsing the blog archives for September, 2011
Commander William Riker, second in command of Star Fleet’s flagship the Enterprise, and formerly thought to be a shoo-in for Admiral has failed a routine physical. The news has placed his career in jeopardy and if Riker cannot pass a follow-up exam he will be forced out of the Fleet. The news that he had […]
Greeting to all farmers in the great United States of America! It has recently come to the attention of the EPA that many farmers agricultural terrorists have raised serious objections to the EPA’s new proposed stringent anti particulate matter standards. We here at the EPA wish to say that we are hurt and confused by […]
Edith Keeler, respected activist and social worker who runs the 21st Street mission here in New York has filed a restraining order against one of its occupants, an unemployed man who goes by the name of James Kirk. Mr. Kirk who broke into her basement one day with his “companion” a Mr. Spock (no first […]
Pope Benedict XVI today excommunicated Linus Van Pelt, ratcheting up the theological controversy over the so-called “Great Pumpkin.” With his excommunication Van Pelt is prohibited from publishing any of his writings or exercising any functions as a Catholic theologian. Before his excommunication, Linus Van Pelt had been a daring and provocative theologian. Van Pelt came […]
A few days have passed since President Obama’s jobs speech to a joint session of congress. No doubt all of my readers were hanging out in bars getting drunk and putting the Carpenters on the Jukebox were glued to their TVs watching the speech. But what happens after the speech? What happens behind closed doors […]
No jokes today. The above photo was taken on Thursday September 6th 2001. My father, brother and my brother’s girlfriend had come down to the city for the day. I was originally going to take them to the World Trade Center but instead opted for the Empire State Building. Not to worry I remember […]
“I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball I want someone else to go chase it” ~ Rogers Hornsby What’s more fun than a baseball game played in the cold, wind and rain? Why an extra inning game played in cold, wind and rain. Welcome to New York City. Twice as rainy […]
With the fall of Moammar Gadhafi’s regime in Libya officials in his formerly feared secret police have been struggling to adjust. Recent documents released by the CIA show a force decimated by desertions as leaders attempted to get jobs in the new order. Typical is one cover letter written by a top double agent to […]
“With those who don’t give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on I can’t think of anything to say to […]
A police manhunt that has spread across several states is on for a curious brown monkey named George. George, an immigrant from Africa who was brought to the United States by his human companion, the Man in the Yellow Hat, was up until last week a docile, friendly and very curious monkey. But something changed. […]