Browsing the blog archives for April, 2011
Lately as my blog has become more popular (with more than the police I mean) I have pondered how to make my site of more benefit to my readers. Having upgraded my software and taking advantage of the latest surveys I am proud to announce the Manhattan Infidel Chat Line. That’s right. For only $52.95 […]
The handsome ex-governor of Massachusetts stared into the camera. Hello. I am Mitt Romney. And this is my hair. I am announcing today the opening of an exploratory committee. This exploratory committee has one purpose: To determine by how much I will lose the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. If my exploratory committee determines that I […]
“Baseball? It’s just a game – as simple as a ball and a bat. Yet as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes. It’s a sport, business and sometimes even religion.” ~ Ernie Harwell, “The Game for All America” 1955 Well tonight the Yankees were supposed to play my pick to win the AL East […]
Manny Ramirez, perhaps baseball’s greatest right-handed hitter and two time world champion when a member of the Boston Red Sox, abruptly retired over the weekend when faced with a 100-game suspension after testing positive for a performance enhancing drug. Ramirez, who was banned for 50 games in 2009 after testing positive for human chorionic gonadotropin […]
Jose S. stood on the street corner as cars lined up for his services. What was Jose selling? Drugs? Green cards? Shares in the New York Mets? None of the above. Jose was selling the latest contraband item that has swept through cities and towns, destroying lives, marriages and carbon credits. Jose was selling 100 […]
As part of my continuing series that aims to better the lives of my readers, I now present my guide to dream interpretation. But before I do this I ask all my readers to not try this at home. Do not self-interpret your dreams. Leave them to a professional like myself. Remember, I am a […]
As baseball season is upon us I figured it would be the perfect time to delve deeply into the troubled financial state of the professional baseball club known as the New York Mets. (In the interests of full disclosure I must state that I am a fan of the New York Yankees. Nonetheless I have […]
Touting it as an example of the Obama administration’s “compassionate liberalism” in the face of a Republican congress that continues to deny the science of global warming the Department of the Interior announced today an ambitious three billion dollar program to give all polar bears basic and advanced swimming lessons. “Never again will a polar […]
“What are we at the park for except to win? I’d trip my mother. I’d help her up, brush her off. Tell her I’m sorry. But mother, don’t make it to third.” ~ Leo Durocher The above photo is of Mariano Rivera warming up in the Yankee bullpen. Trust me. I know you can’t see […]
The House of Representatives today held a contentious hearing aimed at stripping the EPA of its powers to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. The main opponent of the bill, the Energy Tax Prevention Act of 2011 was Representative Jay Inslee (D-WA) who brought a stack of books to the hearing and placed them next to him. […]