Browsing the blog archives for March, 2011

Questions Surround Snow White

The scandal surrounding popular princess Snow White continues to grow every day.  Among the questions being asked: Why does she live with seven men? Have any of these relationships, in contravention of custom and morality, been consummated? Is  she a racist? Is she homophobic? Does she deny feminist truth? As for the why she lives […]

Obama Speaks to Nation; Declares No-Fly Zone Over Detroit

President Obama spoke to a war-weary nation today to explain why he has ordered U.S. fighters to enforce a no-fly zone over Detroit Michigan. Noting that U.S. interests were not directly affected by the violence in Detroit, President Obama gave voice to the so-called Obama Doctrine. There will be times when our safety is not […]


Snoopy Shot Down Over Libya!

The kinetic action in Libya suffered its first casualty today as Snoopy was shot down by forces loyal to Libyan strongman Gaddafi. The headquarters of the U.N led, the Arab League led, the European Union led but definitely not the U.S. led coalition because the U.S. is so going to hand off responsibility any day […]

Sponsors Line up For Charlie Sheen Tour

When the former star of Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen announced his Violent Torpedo of Truth tour (not to be confused with the U.S.S. Indianapolis’ Violent Torpedo of Sinking After Delivering Atom Bomb Components to Tinian Island Tour) many were convinced that it would never find sponsors.  They need not have worried. Said […]

Elizabeth Taylor, Knut the Polar Bear in Love Suicide Pact

Following on the heels of the death of beloved German polar bear Knut, Hollywood lost an icon when Elizabeth Taylor passed away at the age of 79. Immediately after Taylor’s passing questions arose as to the suspicious timing of the two deaths.  It was known that Taylor was an avid animal lover.  A autographed (autopawed?) […]

FDA Reverses 50 Years of Policy on Cigarettes

In a stunning reversal of long-established policy, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today declared that cigarettes pose no threat, are not linked to cancer and that everyone should smoke, even children as young as three. In a statement released to the press, FDA Chief Margaret A. Hamburg said: The FDA does not make this […]

President Obama Orders Bombing of Libya to Remove Gaddafi but Mainly for Humanitarian Reasons Though Getting Rid of Gaddafi is Our Goal if It Doesn't Conflict With Our Goal of Humanitarian Assistance While We Get Rid of Gaddafi

For the third day in a row, U.S. planes bombed targets in Libya, including Gaddafi’s compound in a United Nations led effort to provide humanitarian relief and remove the Libyan strongman from power even though that is not our goal. From Brazil Obama met with reporters. I approved our  humanitarian bombing mission in Libya because […]


Flashing Lifestyle on the Wane Due to Cell Phone Technology

“Time was I used to proudly wear this trench coat” said George M.  “I was voted top flasher of the year three years in a row.  No one worried about being caught.  Not any more.” The reason for the decline in flashing culture:  Cell phones.  The majority of cell phones now come with cameras enabling […]

Gotham City Seeks to Limit Use of Bat Signal

It has become a regular feature in Gotham city:  A signal into the sky with the silhouette of a bat.  In need of help, Gotham city has called on Batman. There is just one problem.  The bat signal is a hazard to plane navigation. Several near misses have been reported by planes approaching Gotham Airport. […]

Star Fleet Victim of Budget Cuts

Lieutenant commander Spock stood beside a converted 1964  Buick Riviera. “I knew changes were coming.  I knew the budget was going to be reduced.  But this is ridiculous” said the frustrated career Star Fleet officer. The Star Ship Enterprise, capable of speeds of warp 8 and outfitted with photon torpedoes had been mothballed, the victim […]