“Time was I used to proudly wear this trench coat” said George M. “I was voted top flasher of the year three years in a row. No one worried about being caught. Not any more.”
The reason for the decline in flashing culture: Cell phones. The majority of cell phones now come with cameras enabling “victims” to take photos of flashers In Flagrante Delicto and email those photos to police and/or newspapers as evidence of the “crime.” Continues George M.:
I used to be proud of my flashing skills. I wore an expensive, tailored trench coat. I looked respectable. No one would suspect me. And who were the cops going to believe? Me or the super smoking hot chick? I mean, they probably wanted to flash her as well. But now they just take out their cell phone and snap away. Next thing you know my Johnson is on the front page of the Daily News. I feel so violated. My only consolation is maybe there is some super hot chick reading the paper and looking at my Johnson.
Because of this advance in technology flashers have had to sublimate their tendencies. Instead of “live” flashing, those committed to their lifestyle now take part in “virtual” flashing. Virtual flashing involves a web cam and videos of stars. The technology has proven so popular that virtual flashing fairs have been held in New Jersey and Connecticut. The most popular stars to flash are Lindsey Lohan, Marvin the Martian and Justin Bieber.
“It’s not the same” said one flasher. “But I guess it has advantages. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to showing Marvin the Martian my Johnson.”
The next virtual flashing festival will be held the weekend of April 15th at the Days Inn of Manhattan.
“We expect flashers from all 50 states, Denmark and a large contingent from Bahrain” said the organizer.
Other long-time flashers are opting to start blogs. Said one:
It’s a way of expressing myself online. It’s a way of expressing my anger about our current administration. It’s a way of making my voice heard. And, I get to email registered users a picture of my Johnson.
The first annual Flashing Blog Convention will be held this summer in Philadelphia Pennsylvania.
“Come for the happy hour. Stay to make your voice heard. Leave before the cops show up” is the official slogan.
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Finally a convention that will finally except me!
“We, uh, call the police, and we have ’em send over one of their sketch artists. And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up “Wanted” posters all over school… “Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls’ locker room at Angel Beach High School.”
They’re just behind the times. They should follow the lead of Brett Farve.
Matt: Some flashers are just traditionalists I suppose.
If they want to stay ahead of the game, the curve etc, they should tweet their ‘johnsons’. lol