Browsing the blog archives for April, 2011
Reeling from the recent tragedy on board the Enterprise when Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge became “too sad” to perform his duties, leading to a warp core breach and the destruction of the ship, Star Fleet has decided to recall all ships counselors. At Fleet Headquarters in San Francisco, Deanna Troi, counselor for the ill-fated […]
The day is upon us and the former Republic of America is stir crazy for royalty. Prince William, heir to the throne of Great Britain is marrying Kate Middleton who, unfortunately, is a filthy commoner. I have a saying I live my life by and it has always served me well: Never use a credit […]
The Robot known as B-9, a General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot, and long-time crew member of the Jupiter II has issues. Specifically he is worried about his relevance in today’s rapidly changing technological world. I sat down with him recently to discuss his life with the Robinson family. Manhattan Infidel: Robot B-9, I thank […]
A tall middle-aged man who calls himself George Pataki sent out a press release today announcing that he is forming an exploratory committee to determine if he should run for President. Among the cable networks and papers that received the press release the reaction ranged from the Poughkeepsie Journal’s “Pataki? Didn’t he play Riff Raff […]
The following is an official press release from official people acting officially. (And remember, as the Manhattan Infidel I never make things up.) Hello America. I am Donna Brazile, interim Chairperson of the Democratic National Committee. On this Monday after Earth Day (known in the old calendar as Easter Monday) I would like to congratulate […]
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Why not take your child to work and show him what you do for a living? “I thought it would be great to expose children to the workplace” said one of the organizers. But in a classic case of unintended consequences, 83% of children who were […]
Despite having unfettered access to roam around, there are reports of a dramatic decrease in morale among free range chickens. “They used to strut around. Now many of them just sit there, staring into space. Some of them have started listening to jazz and writing beatnik poetry” according to one farmer who runs a chicken […]
The Congress of the former Republic of the United States, acting on the overwhelming wishes of the respectable citizens, repealed Article 1 Section 9 Clause 8 of the Constitution. Said clause, which reads No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States. And no person holding any office of profit or trust under […]
President Obama started his campaign for reelection with a stop on the Gulf of Mexico in Louisiana, site of the 2010 oil spill. Holding a can of oil in his hand he poured it onto the beach. This pristine beach, a beauty of nature was damaged irreversibly by the oil spill last year. The Republicans […]
“Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living” ~ Phil Linz It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Someone once said that. I think it was a blogger. Anyway Saturday afternoon I found myself at Yankee Stadium on a cold, raw, windy, rainy Spring day as the […]