George Pataki Announces Exploratory Committee to Determine if Anybody Remembers Who the Hell He Is

My name is George Pataki.  No Really.  That’s my name.  Yes I have I.D.A tall middle-aged man who calls himself George Pataki sent out a press release today announcing that he is forming an exploratory committee to determine if he should run for President.

Among the cable networks and papers that received the press release the reaction ranged from the Poughkeepsie Journal’s “Pataki?  Didn’t he play Riff Raff in Rocky Horror Picture Show” to MSNBC’s “Pataki?  Wasn’t he the guy who replaced Roger C. Carmel on The Mothers-In-Law, you know the ’60s TV show? No wait.  That was Richard Deacon who replaced Roger C. Carmel.  I think Pataki was the guy who replaced Christopher Bernau as Alan Spalding on The Guiding Light.”

Despite such underwhelming reaction the tall middle-aged man calling himself George Pataki stood on the steps of the Capitol Building in Albany New York (shown here) New York State’s Capitol Building, where a tall middle-aged man calling himself George Pataki announced an exploratory committee and announced his exploratory committee and why he feels he’d be a good choice to be President.

My exploratory committee will seek to determine if people still remember the work I did as Governor of the fine state of New York.  Yes.  I was governor.  What?  1995 to 2007.  Yes.  I have pictures of myself in the Governor’s office.  No.  No it wasn’t a tour.  I actually was Governor.  Three terms.  1995 to 2007.  What?  No, I don’t know where the bathroom is.  Ask a tour guide.  What? No.  I’m not a tour guide.  I am the former governor.  Yes.  New York.  What?  1995 to 2007.  Three terms.  No I’m not on medication.  Seriously.  I was governor and I think I’d be a good President.  What?  Yes I am tall.  No, I don’t know where the bathroom is.  I am George Pataki.  Yes, I have I.D.  See?  No, I was never on the TV show the Mothers-in-Law.  You must be thinking of Richard Deacon or Roger C. Carmel.  I am announcing  – what?  No I don’t know where the bathroom is.

The tall middle-aged man calling himself George Pataki was then escorted from the steps of the Capitol Building by police and placed in a waiting patrol car.

Officer Steven Krokoff, Chief of Police for Albany apologized for the breach in security and emphasized that at no time was the real Governor, Andrew Cuomo in any danger from the tall middle-aged man.

Look I don’t know who he is.  I think he’s an actor.  Might have been on the Guiding Light.  But we’ll hold him for questioning and find out where he got the fake George Pataki I.D.

In lieu of the incident Albany police have announced plans to beef up security around the Capitol building.

We just can’t have any crazy homeless person holding press conferences on the steps.  I don’t care how tall they might be.

The tall middle-aged man calling himself George Pataki was released on bail.  He denies being Roger C. Carmel.



10 Responses

  1. The Jungers says:

    You know the funny thing is that I forgot he existed until this post.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Then it appears Gov Pataki did the right thing.

  3. innominatus says:

    Oh my! I thought George Pataki was the guy who played Mr. Sulu.

  4. Are you sure he’s not the guy that played Joe Camel in the cigarette commercials?

  5. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn. No – you’re thinking of tim pawlenty

    Jim: No. But I believe he might be the spokesman in those geico commercials.

  6. George Pataki still exists? Whoa…trippy.

  7. I’m holding out for the Pataki v. Trump debate. It’ll be great fun.

  8. Matt says:

    Pataki? Isn’t that a Polish food?

  9. MK says:

    He’s better off in sanitation, the people think so.

  10. This is the problem with many Republican candidates: no one knows who they are. It’s why John McCain got the nomination and why Donald Trump is leading. Nothing matters more than name recognition.

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