“Baseball is a fun game.  It beats working for a living” ~ Phil Linz

It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times.  Someone once said that.  I think it was a blogger.  Anyway Saturday afternoon I found myself at Yankee Stadium on a cold, raw, windy, rainy Spring day as the Yankees faced the Texas (best team in baseball?) Rangers.   Game time temperature:  45 degrees.  Wind gust of 25 miles per hour.  Overcast.  (It started to rain during the National Anthem and didn’t stop the entire game.)

The Yankees started Freddy Garcia (1-0 1.29) while Texas started Derek Holland (2-1 3.66).  Holland is lifetime 0-3 against the Yankees.

The Yankees got on the board first as Mark Teixera continued his hot April (and who would have thought Teixeira and hot April would go together) as he homered in the bottom of the first bringing home Nick Swisher who had singled.  Jeter, of course, led off the game with a ground out.

2-0 Yankees after one inning.

In the bottom of the third Jeter walked and moved to third when Swisher doubled.  Teixeira then hit a sacrifice fly to Center Field scoring Jeter.

3-0 Yankees after three.

After six innings of wonderful work by Garcia he was pulled for Joba “My spirit guide is International House of Pancakes” Chamberlain.  Joba continued to pitch well with velocity matching his 2007 form.  He gave up one hit while striking out two.

3-0 after seven.

In the Eighth the Yankees brought in Rafael “I no like cold weather” Soriano.  He of the 9.53 ERA.  Soriano had another bad appearance allowing two runs on three hits and a walk.  Elvis “Is dead” Andrus singled home Mitch Moreland.  Michael Young singled allowing Ian Kinsler to score before Soriano was able to get out of the inning.

3-2 Yankees after 7 1/2 innings.

In the bottom of the eighth Teixeira singled and Robinson Cano hit a homer giving the Yankees some insurance runs.

5-2 Yankees after eight.

In the ninth Mariano Rivera (of the 0.00 ERA) struck out one and allowed a hit.  Final score:  Yankees 5 Texas 2.

Notes on the game:

Arriving early and walking around the Stadium I once again noticed the difference in treatment afforded the rich patrons in the 300 dollar seats and those in the bleachers.  The sign in the bathroom on the field level was this:

Contrast that with the sign in the bathroom by the bleachers which said:

I hope you wiped your ass you poor bastard.  Do you think we’re going to pay AROD’s salary with your $14 dollar ticket?  You’re lucky we even provide toilet paper. You make me sick.  I can’t even look at you!

Catching for the Yankees today was backup Gustavo Molina.  Section 5.09a of the Official Rules of Major League Baseball states that “Every team must have at least one catcher named Molina.  So suck it bitches.”

Because of the inclement weather the Yankees announced that everyone in attendance would be given a free ticket to another game.  Unfortunately the game is at Citi Field to see the Mets play the Marlins.

Before the game the Yankees show on the big screen all Yankees saying “Welcome to Yankee stadium. Please enjoy your stay.”  However Ivan Nova said “Welcome to Yankee Stadium.  Please buy plenty of concessions.  Los Yanquis have my family. I want to see them again.”  I bought some popcorn.

Recommended reading material:  The New York City Draft Riots:  Their Significance for American Society and Politics in the Age of the Civil War by Iver Bernstein.

Reader mail:

D.B. of Philadelphia writes, “My wife is a nurse.  She gives me these pills that make me all happy inside.”

Lucky bastard gets free Demerol.  Isn’t that typical of America today? The rich have all the breaks while the rest of us have to buy our Demerol or swipe a fellow blogger’s supply.

M.B. of Brooklyn writes, “If I haven’t mentioned this before I have a new couch.”

Yes, you have mentioned it before.  But D.B. gets free Demerol.  I think he has you beat.

L.K. of New Jersey writes, “I was playing catch with my  eight year old son in the back yard when one of the bodies I buried there became exposed.  My son wanted to know why there is a dead body buried in the back yard.  What do I tell him?”

Excellent question.  Just let him know that your hard work pays the mortgage and you can bury any goddamn body any goddamn place you want and if he doesn’t like it he can get a  goddamn job.  Besides, it was the body of a Mets fan.

So how are the Yankees going to do this year? It’s too early to hit the panic button.  We’ll have a better idea around Memorial Day but this team has issues.  Phil Hughes has reverted to 2008 dead arm form. A.J. Burnett has pitched well so far but he started out last year pitching well also.  CC Sabathia died of a heart attack in January while eating a 32-ounce porterhouse but being the trooper he is still pitches every fifth day.  But for how long?   AROD left the game early with biceps problems.  Derek Jeter?  Future Hall of Famer and he’s done great work for the Yankees.  But how long will the Yankees bat him first and second if all he can do is weakly ground out?  Sooner or later they will have to move him to seventh or eighth in the lineup.

My record so far this year stands at 2-0.  My next game is Sunday May 1st against the Toronto “We have no chance of winning the division, eh?” Blue Jays.

Go Yanks!

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