President Obama Orders Bombing of Libya to Remove Gaddafi but Mainly for Humanitarian Reasons Though Getting Rid of Gaddafi is Our Goal if It Doesn't Conflict With Our Goal of Humanitarian Assistance While We Get Rid of Gaddafi

Removing Gaddafi from power is not our goal but we want to remove him from powerFor the third day in a row, U.S. planes bombed targets in Libya, including Gaddafi’s compound in a United Nations led effort to provide humanitarian relief and remove the Libyan strongman from power even though that is not our goal.

From Brazil Obama met with reporters.

I approved our  humanitarian bombing mission in Libya because of clear United States strategic interests.  But we are not going for so-called regime change.  That was my predecessor’s policy.  Our only goal is to protect civilians.

President Obama spoke of the Libyan leader’s long history of oppressing his people.

Gaddafi needs to go.  Though I stress that is not our goal.  We simply want to protect innocent civilians.  But Gaddafi needs to be removed from power.  But I will not use military means to do it.  I plan to use sanctions and my moral authority.

When a leader ignores the will of his people he has lost legitimacy and must be removed.  Hey, why’s everyone looking at me?

Obama mentioned the international support for bombing Libya and removing Gaddafi from power though removing Gaddafi from power is not the goal.

This was has strong international support, unlike my predecessor’s illegal wars.  The French, Spanish, Italians and I think the Limeys are bombing Libya as I speak.  You know, I originally wasn’t going to get involved but I was sitting at home watching the NCAA tournament and the phone rang.  I said ‘Michelle who is that?’  She said ‘It’s that French dude.  You know the one married to that horrible woman! He said he is going to bomb Libya.’  I picked up the phone and he said ‘Mr. President people are dying.’ I said ‘I know, I’m watching the game now.  What a blowout.’  But the French guy convinced me that this was a multinational effort and I should get involved.  So I ordered our planes to bomb Libya to protect civilians and remove Gaddafi.  But removing Gaddafi is not our military’s goal.  Hey, anyone have an iPod?  I want to catch up on the tournament.

Meanwhile, rebels on the ground welcome the United States assistance in removing Gaddafi from power though that is not our goal.  Said one rebel leader:

The Great Satan is helping us!  We welcome U.S. support as long as there are no Jewish pilots and their warplanes’ noses are remodeled so they don’t look so Jewish.  Allah Akbar!

As for arguments from Republicans and some liberal Democrats that he ignored the Constitution by ordering air strikes without congressional approval Obama said “I was going to call congressional leaders but the game went into overtime and I had an early tee time the next day.  I thought they would understand.”



6 Responses

  1. Your satire is pure genius. I don’t know why i haven’t visited sooner. I’ve read many of your comments at The King Shamus Blog and at Conservative Hideout. My errror! I’m adding your site to my blogroll.

    Obama is clueless but tose that pull his strings are not. The know were this going to lead and they don’t care. I fear things will get very ugly.

  2. The Jungers says:

    So anyone else think notice Gaddafi looks plastic?

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    thanks Jim. Welcome to the site.

    TJ: He aint plastic. He’s my brother.

  4. Jungers–Only the finest botox for the Colonel!

    He’s got that weird-beard Michael Jackson look down pat.

  5. MK says:

    “When a leader ignores the will of his people he has lost legitimacy and must be removed. Hey, why’s everyone looking at me?”

    Indeed, excellent swipe.

    “I was going to call congressional leaders…..”

    Yeah still waiting for liberal scum to caterwaul about illegal wars.

  6. Matt says:

    The I think this is a ‘prompter problem. There is so much double talk coming out of the administration, the poor things processor cannot cope.

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