Snoopy Shot Down Over Libya!

Snoopy gets shot down!The kinetic action in Libya suffered its first casualty today as Snoopy was shot down by forces loyal to Libyan strongman Gaddafi.

The headquarters of the U.N led, the Arab League led, the European Union led but definitely not the U.S. led coalition because the U.S. is so going to hand off responsibility any day now released a statement confirming that Snoopy has been shot down.  Said General Carter Ham who leads the U.S. forces:

As of 0900 hours we have to confirm the unpleasant news that one of our pilots has been shot down, is missing and is presumed dead.  His name is Snoopy.  He is a beagle.  His dog tag number is….hey, why is everyone laughing?  Well that’s what we call them.  Dog tags.

Sources inside command headquarters say that during night raids on Libyan government tanks the Sopwith Camel that Snoopy was flying was hit several times.  The plane plunged into the desert below.  It appeared that the pilot did not have time to eject.  The pilot was heard on the radio emitting a high-pitched whine that sounded like “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!”

“I swear to God it sounded like they had shot down Lucille Ball” said an intelligence analyst.

Already the expected political backlash to Snoopy’s shooting down has begun.  When asked why Snoopy had been cleared for combat President Obama said:

He seemed nice.  The French liked him.  And this is a multinational effort after all.  Besides, he has a friend named Woodstock.  He obviously loves peace.

Congressional Republicans and liberal Democrats have begun hearings into possible deficiencies in the equipment that U.S. troops are using.  Said Dennis Kuchinich (D-OH):

It’s bad enough the President did not seek congressional approval for this war.  But what are our troops using?  The Libyan army is well funded and equipped with modern tanks and ammunition while we are sending out dogs in biplanes.  Mr. President.  You have blood on your hands.

General Ham believes that the main reason Snoopy was shot down was that despite retrofitting his Sopwith Camel with the latest ordnance his plane had a top speed of ten mph and a ceiling of 15 feet.

“I mean I could have picked him off with a slingshot.”

As for Snoopy’s human companion, Charlie Brown is reported to be distraught.

Look at me. I’m ten.  I’m bald.  My head is  larger than the rest of my body.  Peppermint Patty and I are in love with the same red-headed girl.  My life sucks.  That dog was the only thing I had.

Gaddafi has released a statement promising to “Crush the crusader invaders!  Tonight we dine on beagle meat!”

Despite Gaddadi’s bluster the U.S. has not given up hope of finding Snoopy.

“Snoopy is street smart.  If he gets captured he can always bite his captors or pee on them.  We haven’t seen the last of this dog” said Ham.


12 Responses

  1. The Jungers says:

    God be with snoopy. Hopefully his scrounging skills are better then mine.

  2. “He seemed nice. The French liked him. And this is a multinational effort after all. Besides, he has a friend named Woodstock. He obviously loves peace.”

    Multiculturalism in action.

  3. Snoop’s gonna pull out of this and be okay.

    Our tattered animal rights record? Well, that’s a different story.

  4. innominatus says:

    I always suspected that Peppermint Patti “played for the other team” and I’m glad to see my hunch confirmed.

    Also, I had “Snoopy and the Red Baron” on vinyl as a kid and I pretty much played the grooves right off that sucker.

  5. Manhattan Infidel says:

    TJ: Snoopy is a survivor. We will see him again.

    Jim: Yes, multiculturalism in action. Didn’t snoopy have a french cousin?

    Shamus: You, TJ and I have faith in Snoopy. That American hero will have a ticker tape parade down the canyon of heroes!

    Inn: Patty is, um, in an experimental phase. And snoopy and the red baron by the royal guardsman. A very underrated album. It’s a rock classic!

  6. “Tonight we dine on beagle meat!”


  7. MK says:

    “…..his plane had a top speed of ten mph and a ceiling of 15 feet.”

    LOL, good one.

  8. MK says:

    “Snoopy is street smart. If he gets captured he can always bite his captors or pee on them. We haven’t seen the last of this dog”

    Indeed, and if all else fails, he’ll leave the bastards with ticks.

  9. Matt says:

    I’m surprised that PETA hasn’t had a tantrum of their own.

  10. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Liberty: Beagle meat. Keeping mad dictators happy for over 50 years

    MK: Can ticks defeat mad muslims? I hope so.

    Matt: Well PETA only defends peace-loving animals and since Snoopy volunteered for war he’s obviously a stooge of Haliburton.

  11. Matthew says:


  12. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matthew: yes, I’m afraid Snoopy is missing.

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