Browsing the blog archives for November, 2010
Lieutenant Commander Spock has resigned from Star Fleet in wake of a looming sexual harassment scandal. The trouble for Spock, a respected and decorated officer with no previous hint of scandal, began a few weeks ago. Eyewitnesses report that the normally staid, logical and unemotional first officer began to experience violent mood swings. Said Yeoman […]
As part of his campaign to expand New York City’s ban on indoor smoking, Mayor Bloomberg announced that the smoking ban will be extended to all outdoor places, including streets, parks, beaches, marinas and pedestrian plazas. “This new bill has the overwhelming support of the people” said Bloomberg. “I’m a businessman and a politician not […]
Archeologists announced today that they have discovered a treasure trove of heretofore unknown cave paintings by ancient man. Previously discovered cave paintings contained images of wild animals such as bisons, horses or deer. The newly discovered paintings however contained a new element that at first was not able to be identified. After scientists compared the […]
Scientists traveling through remote stretches of the South American rain forest at first were delighted by their findings. In just one month they had cataloged almost 12,000 heretofore unknown species. But then the dark side of their discoveries sunk in: Most of the new species appeared to be racist. Foremost was a frog that would […]
We here at the journalistic juggernaut that is Manhattan Infidel take seriously our responsibility to get to the bottom of every story. Who broke the story that Nancy Pelosi was a Harvester Terminator? Manhattan Infidel. Who broke the story that Puff the Magic Dragon had been arrested for endangering a minor? Manhattan Infidel. Who broke […]
Mr. Barack Obama 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. United States of America Dear Mr. Obama: On behalf of the Taj Mahal Hotel and Resort we want to thank you for making reservations for November 6th and 7th 2010. Because you made your reservation 30 days in advance and paid by credit card you are entitled […]
When a local businessman left his home Monday morning to commute to work he was in for a surprise. Sitting on top of his car was a giant Lepidoptera named “Mothra.” “I had to wait a half hour for her to leave, and when she did she left a giant pile of excrement all over […]
As the U.S. election returns came in and the size of the Republican victory became apparent, Europe sat transfixed, consumed by the knowledge that once again, stupid Americans were rejecting the opportunity to be more European. Sitting in a cafe on the left bank in Paris and enjoying his five hour lunch, Pierre Le Surrender […]
The current dispute between Fox Network and Cablevision, which has lead to thousands of customers being stranded without their favorite shows and sporting events has turned out to be a boon for previously unknown channels. “Without Fox we realized we had to give our customers some new channels” said Cablevision CEO James Dolan. “We care […]
Once again, I turn my blog over to a guest commentator. (Well, in this case I didn’t have a chance. Resistance is futile.) Take it away Locutus of Borg. Thank you, Manhattanatus of Borg. Are you worried about your retirement? Have you seen the value of assimilated currencies decline? The dollar, the Euro, Chinese, Japanese, […]