Browsing the blog archives for November, 2010
With the Federal Reserve’s announcement that it will be buying $600 billion more of U.S. debt, with out of control spending by the government and with countries around the globe worried about America’s long-term fiscal heath, we at the world wide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel present our plan, submitted for your approval dear readers, to […]
When former astronaut Steve Austin awoke after crashing his plane his life was permanently changed. He was missing one eye, both legs and his left arm. “It was definitely a game-changer” says Austin. “I mean, what can a blind cripple do except maybe get a job in the Buffalo Bills offensive line?” Enter Oscar Goldman, […]
Hello fellow residents inside the borders of these United States. Once again Thanksgiving has come around. As some of you may be aware, the Federal Government, using the powers vested in it by the Constitution, have made changes to the way Americans celebrate this Eurocentric holiday. It would have been our preference to ban this […]
With unemployment in the U.S. still hovering around 10%, relief may be in sight. The TSA has announced a new “Junk Toucher” job program. The TSA’ s website, under the “Join us” section has further details on their new job program: Are you surly, overweight? Do you live in your parent’s basement? Have you never […]
Holding a press conference, Health and Human Services Director Kathleen Sebelius announced that the Federal Government plans to introduce new, graphic warning labels on cigarette packages. Said Sebelius: Cigarettes are death. Cigarettes are immoral. Morality is what the Feds say it is. Freedom is the ability to say 2+2=4. When that is granted all else […]
It is only the middle of November, yet the Easter Bunny is already feeling the pressure. For the past couple of years he has watched his market share in the Easter Holiday decline. Faced with rising costs and declining profit, this year the Bunny has taken the drastic step of hiring nonunion workers to paint […]
Long thought to be spontaneous, recent evidence that has come to light has shown that New York Yankee great Lou Gehrig’s famous farewell speech was in fact carefully written out beforehand and reworked many times. On July 4th, 1939 the Yankees held Lou Gehrig day and between games of a double header the dying Yankee […]
Wearing the mandatory balaclavas and carrying signs that said “Death to Capitalists“, “No Banks!“, “Overthrow the Government” and “We Love Tim Lincecum” anarchists prepared for their annual round of rioting at the G20 Summit. This year however many of the anarchists still remembered the previous year’s unsuccessful riots. Said one: I was so looking forward […]
The CW Network has announced that it has inked a deal with New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg to star in a new TV show called “Bloomie Knows Best.” In a statement released today, Dawn Ostroff, President of Entertainment at the CW network said: We were looking for someone who could be the face of […]
The makers of BootyPop underwear, the miracle underwear that sexes up curves, as seen on TV, has introduced BootyPop for Men. “It’s an important market” said a BootyPop executive. “We didn’t want to neglect it. I’m wearing BootyPop now and my ass has never looked better.” After extensive test marketing, the BootyPop for men, known […]