Investment Advice from Locutus of Borg

Once again, I turn my blog over to a guest commentator. (Well, in this case I didn’t have a chance.  Resistance is futile.)  Take it away Locutus of Borg.

Are you worried about the value of assimilated currencies?

Thank you, Manhattanatus of Borg.

Are you worried about your retirement?  Have you seen the value of assimilated currencies decline?  The dollar, the Euro, Chinese, Japanese, South African, even the Martian dollar have all seen their value decline significantly.  Experts are calling this the worst economic crisis to hit America since the Irish invasion of the 1840s. Why is this?  The housing crisis?  Mortgage meltdowns?  Or perhaps the fact that a Borg mothership destroyed much of your habitable planet.  Whatever the reason you now have the opportunity to invest in gold.  Gold that is backed by the Borg Collective, which hasn’t seen an economic downturn in centuries.

It’s never too late to secure your future in gold.  Gold is an intrinsically valuable preserver of purchasing power.  In these tough times that’s more important than ever.  Call my friends at BorgRosland Capital. Ask them for a free guide on purchasing nonassimilated gold today.

BorgRosland Capital does more than sell gold.  They give you expert advice on every aspect of securing your Borg implants.  I mean your retirement.  The assimilation, I mean the call, is free and definitely worth your time.

If your looking for security it all boils down to this. Call BorgRosland Capital and tell them Locutus of Borg sent you.  Resisting a call would be futile.

The Borg Empire is not affiliated with China.  Ask for a prospectus today.  Offer void where prohibited by nonassimilated law.

Thank you Locutus of Borg.  He does bring up valid points.  In this economy gold is your safest investment.   I know.  Contrary to popular belief Borg implants are not cheap. Nor are they noninvasive.  The antibiotics alone that I am taking to ensure my body does not reject the implants have cost me an arm and a leg.  Literally.  If I had to rely on the value of the falling assimilated dollar I would be broke by now.

Thank god for BorgRosland Capital.  I switched to gold and it’s the smartest investment decision I have made.


6 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    “It’s a trap!!!”

    sorry, wrong sci-fi universe

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: Very wrong universe. And GO GIANTS!

  3. Karen Howes says:

    I thought G. Borgdon Liddy did those ads!

  4. Mark says:

    By assimilating other currencies, we are bringing them closer to perfection. – Obamus of Borg

  5. Matt says:

    I signed up, but my new Borg voice scares the neighborhood children. What should I do?

  6. Manhattan Infidel says:

    KH: G. Borgdon wanted to much assimilated currency and was fired.

    Mark: We must redistribute the assimilated currencies.

    Matt: Screw the kids. Assiimilate them. Resistance is futile.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>