12,000 New Species Discovered; Many are Racist

The Frogius Teapartius Hateius BlackmanicusScientists traveling through remote stretches of the South American rain forest at first were delighted by their findings. In just one month they had cataloged almost 12,000 heretofore unknown species.  But then the dark side of their discoveries sunk in:  Most of the new species appeared to be racist.

Foremost was a frog that would change its color from brown to white when in danger.

“We named this frog the “Frogius Teapartius Hateius Blackmanicus.” 

Among its other strange characteristics, the frog had a shameful tendency to migrate from dangerous parts of the rain forest that were filled with its natural predators to safer, “upscale” areas. Once in the upscale areas it would try to blend in with the native species, abandoning whatever brown skin it had left.  Within weeks the frogs were completely white.

“Disgusting racist behavior” said one environmentalist.  “Instead of being proud of their heritage they denied it.”

Another species discovered was a rat that would hide out in rocky areas.  The racist rock rat is opposed to universal health care coverage

“We were originally going to call it a ‘rock rat’ but changed our minds when the full degree of its racism became known.”

Many of the rats were injured as a result of residing in a rocky habitat.  Some appeared to have broken limbs.

“We gave all the injured rats vouchers for free government-run health care. Instead they ate the vouchers or defecated on them.”

Scientist speculate that perhaps the rats were fearful, and were clinging to old established ways.

“They obviously did not know what was best for them and rejected all our attempts to help, probably because one of the scientists was a black man.  It’s the only logical explanation.”

Because of these disturbing findings, many naturalists now suffer from bad morale and talk of establishing new careers in another field of study.

“I used to think nature was beautiful but now all I want to do is go back to my gated community, shut the door and do some yoga” said one.

The complete findings will be on display at the American Museum of Natural History in an exhibit entitled “Nature:  Racist and Probably Republican.”


5 Responses

  1. innominatus says:

    Libdork #1: “Nature is in pain from all our pollution and erosion and chemicals and stuff. We must save Nature!”

    Libdork #2: “Nature is a racist cracker bitch! Kill Nature!”
    Maybe we can get libdork #1 and libdork #2 to collide and annihilate each other in some kind of matter/anti-matter reaction.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Inn: That would be worth the price of admission.

  3. Matt says:

    The only thing that could have been better would be if the animals would have eaten the libtards.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Matt: That would damage the animals.

  5. Mark says:

    The chameleon-nature’s stealthy racist.

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