Mr. Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.
United States of America
Dear Mr. Obama:
On behalf of the Taj Mahal Hotel and Resort we want to thank you for making reservations for November 6th and 7th 2010. Because you made your reservation 30 days in advance and paid by credit card you are entitled to a 5% discount on hotel beverages. Also, because you have booked every room in our resort for your two-day stay for you and your 800 friends you also get a coupon for you and your wife and other travel companions good for a free dinner at any of Mumbai’s restaurants.
As you know the Taj Mahal is an internationally known five-star hotel located in the heart of Mumbai, India and has hosted a long list of notable guests including The Beatles, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Bill Clinton, The King and Queen of Norway, The Duke and Duchess of Kent, Roger Moore, Joan Collins, Mick Jagger, Deep Purple and the guy who played Lionel Jefferson on the Jeffersons. No, not the second guy. The first guy.
The Taj Mahal prides itself on having many activities for their guests to enjoy. Our second floor recreation area contains several ping pong tables, pin ball machines, 42-inch HD TVs with the latest generation of XBOX as well as fully stocked vending machines. But not to worry. Our vending machines contain only sugar free beverages which we are sure will please your wife.
Perhaps you would enjoy a nice romantic stroll on our beach with your wife and entourage? The Taj Mahal has plenty of beachfront property for you. And don’t worry about being interrupted during your stroll. The United States Navy will be providing 34 warships and a aircraft carrier just off shore to ensure your privacy. 
Let’s see that dog get past the US Navy! Ha ha but we joke.
Seriously. Are you concerned for your safety during your stay? There is no need to be. Three helicopters will provide constant air security around the perimeter. Also the hotel will be illuminated by floodlights during your stay so that you will feel safe and secure.
Indian food too spicy for you? We understand that among your 800 traveling companions will be several of your own personal chefs who will prepare American-style dishes for you. Rest assured our kitchen has the latest accoutrements for them.
We also have a fine garage where the 45 cars you are bringing with you will be able to park for $20 per night. Since you have more than one car there will be a significant discount.
So all in all, we are confident that you will enjoy your stay and we hope to see you again soon!
Taj Mahal
Mubai, India
(543)
We can keep the American taxpayer safe just by plopping St. Bambi in front of an XBOX for a few hours.
I hope he spends his entire trip rocking out to HALO.
XBox? I figured Barry was more into playing his Wii-Wii.
CRS: Good idea, bambi can play with the XBOX while wifey meets with the “hospitality workers” and shows concern for the oppressed underclass.
Inn: The important thing to remember is our President will be playing with himself in India.
5% off of drinks… that alone makes the trip worth it!
After reading this, I now know why he did it. He’s going over there to stimulate THEIR economy!
They sure know how to define extravagance.
I hope Americans who are watching their taxes go up and their healthcare going down the toilet will remember this extravagance come 2012.
Thank you, come again.
MK: An an American I was ashamed that an elected leader of a Republic travels the globe like some goddamn divine right monarch. I bet you he even had attendants to wipe his ass.
MI: Is that a custom in Kenya?