Browsing the blog archives for April, 2010
Every day throughout the United States, Democrats gather to celebrate the mystery of Obama. Senators, Congressman, state officials, lay faithful face the celebrant as he intones the words, “This is Obama’s body, which is being socialized for you. Do this in memory of him.” Despite the apparent harmony a sizable minority of Democrats say that […]
People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring ~ Rogers Hornsby Six long months after the New York Yankees, representing truth, justice and the American way, won their 27th World Championship, I attended my first game […]
The First Ecumenical Council of the White House, a gathering of Democratic Senators and Congressmen, responding to the “needs of the times”, has declared Barack Hussein Obama, 44th President of the United States, infallible when pronouncing dogma Ex Cathedra Oval Office. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid told assembled reporters that the doctrine of the infallibility […]
The union of the followers of Obama has been rent by a recent controversy regarding his body and blood. Previously the approved formula for the body and blood of Obama had been called “Transubstantiation” whereby ordinary bread and wine is converted into the body and blood of Obama. However, recently a breakaway group have promulgated […]
With the results of the Presidential election of 2008 giving the followers of Obama the room to practice their religion without fear, many theologians are now turning to defining their faith in the Obama. “There are many questions still unresolved as to the nature of Obama. We now have a historic opportunity to define our […]
The CIA has in its possession the minutes of a top secret Al Qaeda leadership meeting held at the Holiday Inn in Dubai last January. Through the Freedom of Information Act the minutes were obtained so that you, my readers, may be informed as to the ruthless nature of our enemy. Proceedings: Meeting called to […]
Always on the front lines and proud of its cutting edge reputation, New York is the first state in the union to declare war on the dreaded enemy of mankind, the silent killer – sodium. Assemblyman Felix Ortiz (D-Brooklyn) has introduced a bill that would ban all salt in the preparation and cooking of restaurant […]
Chaz Bono, child of Sonny Bono and Cher and formerly known as Chastity Bono when he was a woman expressed disappointment in the results of his sex change. “I was always an ugly woman but I figured once I had sex reassignment surgery my former ugliness would translate into a masculine roughneck quality. But, damn. […]
Pasiphae, daughter of Helios and fan of free bull love, appeared on a special episode of the Jerry Springer show dedicated to unusual sexual fetishes and their devotees. Appearing with Pasiphae on the show were a man addicted to ’70s porn and Damon Evans, the second actor to play Lionel Jefferson on the popular TV […]
Since the bombshell admission by Ricky Martin of his homosexuality, Al Qaeda has seen a 67% decrease in female suicide bomber enrollment. What was a week ago filled with long lines, female suicide bomber recruitment centers are now reporting that some have not seen one recruit. “Our numbers have dried up quicker than CNN’s ratings” […]