Chaz Bono Disappointed in Results of Sex Change: Holy Crap I’m Still Ugly!

Chaz Bono - now ugly in two sexesChaz Bono, child of Sonny Bono and Cher and formerly known as Chastity Bono when he was a woman expressed disappointment in the results of his sex change.

“I was always an ugly woman but I figured once I had sex reassignment surgery my former ugliness would translate into a masculine roughneck quality.  But, damn.  I’m still ugly.  What a letdown.”

Experts familiar with sex reassignment surgery are not surprised.  Known as the “WTF Effect” many who undergo the surgery find themselves bitterly disappointed in the outcome.

“Many who have this surgery feel unattractive and unwanted.  They think by changing their sex this will change.  Men think that by becoming women they will become pole dancers whereas they end up looking like John Cleese in drag.  Women think they will look like Leonardo DiCaprio.  But alas, that is not the case.  Most end up becoming truckers after surgery” said a doctor who has performed many of the sex reassignment surgeries.

Typical is a letter from a woman who used to be a man before surgery who writes, “I’m still ugly! I mortgaged my house and raided my retirement fund to have my testicles cut off.   Hell, I could have saved my money and just gotten married.”

With malpractice costs on the rise many doctors are now requiring candidates for surgery to fill out a questionnaire before going under the knife.  Questions include:

  1. Are you ugly?
  2. Seriously, are you ugly?
  3. How ugly?  Run of the mill bow wow or Nikki Sixx ugly?
  4. Sex reassignment will change this how?

Many doctors have reported being harassed by angry post op patients and are now refusing to perform the surgery.  “If I wanted an ugly man/woman to beat me up I could go to Boy George’s apartment” said one.

As for Chaz Bono he is making the most of his new life.

“It’s not what I expected to be sure but what can I do?  I’m working as a bouncer now.  I think the tats on my arm make me look tough.”


6 Responses

  1. And still Chaz/Chastity will get no strange … or familiar … or anything at all, beyond maybe the goal in his/her/its backyard.

    BTW: I’m in rare form today. Come on over when you get a chance.

  2. innominatus says:

    Ugly as a baboon butt, and I bet (s)he still can’t parallel park.

  3. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Good stuff Snarky.

    Inn: They say our love won’t pay the parking ticket
    Before it’s earned our money’s all been spent

  4. Matt says:

    I dunno. John Cleese might sue you, given the comparison.

  5. Manhattan Infidel says:

    A valid point Matt. My apologies to Mr. Cleese.

  6. KingShamus says:

    Never apologize to John Cleese.

    He takes any sign of regret as weakness, then pounces on the apologizer in a violent frenzy in order to establish dominance.

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