Pasiphae Appears on Jerry Springer Show

pasiphae and her bullPasiphae, daughter of Helios and fan of free bull love, appeared on a special episode of the Jerry Springer show dedicated to unusual sexual fetishes and their devotees.

Appearing with Pasiphae on the show were a man addicted to ’70s porn and Damon Evans, the second actor to play Lionel Jefferson on the popular TV sitcom The Jeffersons.

“I’m a Goddess, an immortal.  My father is the Sun.  That can be very intimidating to most men” said Pasiphae.  “I tried to have normal sexual relations with mortals but I just didn’t find it exciting enough.  I”ve always liked bulls though so I had a friend of mine, Daedalus, construct a portable wooden cow with cowhide covering that I was able to use to satisfy my desire.  Once  inside I was able to copulate freely with bulls.”

This drove the audience wild as many stood up and called her names.

“Hey, a Goddess needs love too” she said in reply to the catcalls.

Springer next moved on to a man who is a self-proclaimed “addict” of 1970s-era porn.

“I spend as much as 20 hours a day watching it” he said.  “I’ve lost my job and my friends.”

Springer asked him about his current girlfriend, a bearded lady he met online after placing an ad for  a “hirsute woman” on Craigslist.

“Well, in 70s porn everyone is very hairy.  As I watched more and more of it I found myself only able to perform with people who had hair all over their bodies.  I tried substitutes, like making love to my dates while watching movies that had Dan Hedaya in it but it wasn’t the same.  I need hair.”

The audience whooped and cheered as he got into a screaming match with Pasiphae, who called him “sick.”

“You’re a sick motherf#$*#$ you motherf#(@#$! degenerate freak.  At least bulls are smooth.”

Security from the Springer show had to separate the two.

Springer next asked Damon Evans what his fetish was.  Damon appeared uneasy and asked if he could leave.

“There must be some mistake.  I’m here to promote the one man show I’m starring in” Damon nervously responded.

Springer prodded him.  “Come on Damon.  No sexual fetishes?”

Springer didn’t believe him and asked him again if he was hiding a fetish while the 70s porn addict accused him of “being too smooth.”  Pasiphae volunteered that Evans looked like a bull lover.

After more prodding from Springer, Evans finally broke down in tears and admitted his fetish.

“My bedroom is plastered with posters of Donna Pescow.  I’ve tried to stop but I just can’t”

The audience went silent.  Pasiphae and 70s porn devotee got up and walked out.

“He needs help.  He’s sick” said Pasiphae.

Jerry Springer’s next show will be about Donna Pescow and the men who like her.

Damon Evans has entered rehab.


2 Responses

  1. Matt says:

    Wow, Donna Pescow must have done you wrong.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    I wanted her to be a nice girl but she ended up one of them other girls.

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