Browsing the blog archives for January, 2015
Dagwood Bumstead, office manager at the J.C. & Dithers construction company, died at his home today of an apparent heart attack minutes after finished one of his patented “Bumstead” sandwiches. First responders at the scene tried desperately to revive him as his shattered wife, Blondie looked on. “We tried everything” said a paramedic. But given […]
Monday as New York City braced itself for a potential blizzard King Andrew Cuomo of New York and Lord Mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. made a controversial decision: Subways, the lifeline of the city, will be shut down. As the world now knows the so-called “Blizzard of 2015” was a bust, leaving only six inches of snow […]
He won’t sit down for an interview with Fox news. He won’t meet with the Prime Minister of Israel. But apparently one thing President Obama will do is meet with Youtube sensation Glozell Green for an intimate interview. Green is best known for eating cereal from a bathtub. I had the chance to sit down […]
Popular singing star Rick Springfield, best known for his ’80s hit “Jessie’s Girl” is on trial. The charge? Causing “serious, permanent and disabling injury” to a woman with his buttocks. Springfield states that during the concert in question his buttocks did indeed come into contact with Vicki Calcagno, from Liverpool, New York, but that any injury […]
Just six days after President Obama’s State of the Union it has been announced that the show will be placed on hiatus and no more episodes will be ordered. “We just didn’t get the ratings we hoped for” said an network executive. We had high hopes for the State of the Union show. Obama’s a clean […]
Unless one has been living under a rock one is no doubt aware of the controversy that has roiled the sports world for the past week. I am of course referring to “Deflate Gate.” During the AFC championship game, won by New England it was discovered that Tom Brady’s balls were seriously undersized and deflated. “I […]
Following up on my last two posts involving “James Taylor Gate”, the scandal that has weakened us in the eyes of our European allies, I decided to pay a visit to the State Department. What is going on at the State Department? What type of internal culture does it have? Who in their right mind thought […]
Yesterday I bravely reported on the James Taylor, Herman Munster John Kerry concert in France. (Somebody has to. God knows the American press won’t.) Tomorrow I will write about my undercover experience at the State Department. Today’s post will be devoted to the tragic aftermath in Paris. The panic. The rioting. The looting. The destruction. […]
A week after the tragic terrorist attacks that left 17 Frenchmen dead, and with criticism mounting over his absence at the unity march that attracted world leaders, President Obama proved how serious he is about the transatlantic partnership by having singer/songwriter James Taylor sing for the still-grieving nation. “I want to French people to know […]
The once friendly and unassuming city of Who-ville lies in ruins, bankrupt. Businesses left never to return. It has seen its population decrease by 40 percent over the past three decades. How did this happen? It all starts with the Christmas Eve home invasion by the Grinch. Shocked that their town, technically at peace with […]