The Decline and Fall of Who-ville

Whoville at its height.

Who-ville at its height.

The once friendly and unassuming city of Who-ville lies in ruins, bankrupt.  Businesses left never to return.  It has seen its population decrease by 40 percent over the past three decades.

How did this happen?  It all starts with the Christmas Eve home invasion by the Grinch. Shocked that their town, technically at peace with the Grinch, was subject to such a devastating assault the political leaders of Who-ville enacted policies that would lead to their downfall.

The Department of Who-ville Security

Vowing never to be caught off guard again, the Department of Who-Ville Security was created by Who-ville’s mayor. Granted sweeping powers, Who-ville’s residents soon find their once care-free existence altered by the state.  Random bag checks became a way of life.  Who-ville’s residents meekly submit to having their belongings checked whenever they wanted to use public transportation.  Though the checks were officially designated as “random” everyone knew that this was only so that they wouldn’t be accused of racism in targeting the Grinch.


A rapid militarization of Who-ville society soon followed.  The city’s defense budget increased three thousand percent over a decade. Soon it became common place to see Who-ville police sporting automatic weapons and driving tanks. The latest technology was used to implement drone strikes on Mt. Crumpit in an attempt to catch the Grinch.  These drone strikes would prove controversial as many innocent civilians, including children, were killed in the strikes. The mayor of Who-ville is rumored to keep a pack of playing cards with the pictures of Mt. Crumpit militants on them.  As militants are killed, they are taken out of the deck.

Rising taxes

War is not cheap and to pay for it taxes are raised in Who-ville.  Even cigarettes, heretofore a favorite of all those in Who-ville, are not exempt from the tax man.  Seeking to avoid paying taxes, many residents resort to the black market to buy “loosies” or single cigarettes.  Riots ensue as one resident of Who-ville is killed by police when resisting arrest for selling loosies.

With taxes rising ever higher, Who-ville loses its manufacturing sector, which leaves for towns with a more business friendly tax structure.  High unemployment ensues.

With unemployment consistently in double digits, the city of Who-ville becomes the largest employer in town, promising generous pensions to employees. However upon retiring many employees find that the city is broke and will not be able to afford to pay them.

With no money to support its infrastructure, downtown deteriorates, leaving block after block of empty shells.  Crime rises.

Who-ville’s city council passes a “stimulus package” that not only does not help the economy but further adds to its unsupportable debt.

Permanent socialism

With most residents out of work, Who-ville’s city council promises “cradle to grave” socialism to help citizens rise out of poverty. With the middle class already moved out of town, Who-ville’s rich are taxed to pay for the social programs.

Who-ville’s rich soon leave town.


With no tax base left, and unable even to pay its water bills, Who-ville sinks into bankruptcy, its former glory a distant memory.

The Grinch and other residents of Mt. Crumpit move into Who-ville and promise to enact “Grinch law” on all citizens.  Who-ville’s remaining few original residents submit out of fear of being labelled racist.  Female Who-ville genital mutilation ensues.  Women are forbidden from driving cars or appearing in public without a veil.

And that, my friends, is the true story of the sad decline and fall of Who-ville.  Thank god this could never happen in America.


One Response

  1. Gosh, who would have thought that elections had consequences?

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