Browsing the blog archives for June, 2013
The black box from the Flying Nun has been recovered. Sister Bertrille of the convent of San Tanco in Puerto Rico, commonly known as the “flying nun” disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean while flying from Brazil to France. Sister Bertrille had travelled to Brazil to take part in a conference of her order and from […]
Fresh off his proposed ban on 32-ounce soft drink mayor Michael Bloomberg (Statist Asshole – NY) has proposed newer, more stringent recycling laws. Already accustomed to separating plastic, metal and paper, New Yorkers will also have to sort food scraps and other items. Because they can be confusing, for the benefit of my readers I […]
“Innominaus is a bad man. A bad bad man.” ~ Ichiro Suzuki (after the game through an interpreter). On a wickedly hot and humid night the Yankees played the Texas Rangers. The Yankees started Hiroki Kuroda (7-5 2.78) while the Rangers countered with Yu “Whirling” Darvish (7-3 2.84) Texas scored (“Plated” in modern parlance) first […]
With the American and Russian war machine closing in on Berlin and heroic socialist Adolph Hitler in hiding, Hollywood is making known where its sympathies lie. A five minute film entitled “We are Adolph Hitler” is being released to theaters this week. “It’s important that this film be made” said MGM head Louis B. Mayer. […]
“My kingdom! My kingdom for a new back, or a new hip, or a new knee” ~ assorted anonymous Yankees Today was the 67th Old Timer’s game at Yankee Stadium. A tradition in which elderly ex-stars painfully walk to home plate, painfully swing at pitches and painfully, slowly, run to first base. No wait, that’s […]
Larry Talbot was dismissed today from his job in the ad sales department of a publishing company. “We had no choice” said the company’s director of Human Resources. “He was really starting to create a problem for us.” Things changed for Talbot, formerly considered a rising star in the company, shortly after he purchased a […]
Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the honor and privilege of interviewing the first lady of the United States, Michelle Obama herself. I sat down with her in her hotel suite at the Shelbourne hotel in Dublin to discuss how she likes being first lady. MI: Good afternoon Mrs. Obama. MO: Are you addressing me? MI: Yes. Mrs. […]
Notorious gunman Shane appeared today before a special senate subcommittee on gun violence. His testimony was highly anticipated and the audience was packed as the cable news networks covered the event in its entirety. Dianne Feinstein: Good morning Mr. Shane. We thank you for coming to this committee. As you know we are currently in […]
Through my sources I have learned that Hollywood has greenlighted a motion picture version of the events in Benghazi on September 11, 2012. Produced by Harvey Weinstein, the movie, tentatively entitled “Presidential Command Decision” will begin lensing in September with a scheduled release in the summer of 2014. I have been given an advance copy […]
Kim Kardashian, daughter of the man who helped O.J. Simpson get away with murder gave birth to a demon child in Los Angeles over the weekend. “The delivery was normal at first” said a nurse who was involved. But after the child was born it turned its head around, totally around, like 360 degrees around […]