May 1945, Hollywood Speaks: We are Adolph Hitler!

Heroic socialist Adolph Hitler in happier times

Heroic socialist Adolph Hitler in happier times

With the American and Russian war machine closing in on Berlin and heroic socialist Adolph Hitler in hiding, Hollywood is making known where its sympathies lie.  A five minute film entitled “We are Adolph Hitler” is being released to theaters this week.

“It’s important that this film be made” said MGM head Louis B. Mayer.

This is my adopted homeland and I love it but I am ashamed of the war crimes our military is committing.  I support our troops but this war is immoral.

The short film opens with many of Hollywood’s top stars holding signs of solidarity that say “I am Adolph Hitler.”

Among the stars signing up for the film are veterans Jimmy Stewart

I am in uniform.  I have moral authority

I am in uniform. I have moral authority

Clark Gable

This country disgusts me.

This country disgusts me.

and David Niven

The war machine of western Europe must give way to socialism.

The war machine of western Europe must give way to socialism.

“I couldn’t remain quiet any longer” said Stewart.

I flew many bombing missions over Germany.  And I always asked myself, “Why?”  Why are we attacking the German people?  What have they ever done to us?   And in these bombing missions I had to bomb civilian targets.  I feel sick at my complicity in these war crimes.

Gable mirrors Stewart in his criticism of the allied war effort.

Hitler is a socialist.  He cares for the poor.  Perhaps that’s why we are bombing them?  The industrialists in our country hate socialism as is well known.  I asked for my discharge because I could no longer participate in this charade of so-called liberation.

Niven in particular criticizes the war crimes of Eisenhower and the allied command.

War crimes!  One war crime after another.  I have burned civilians out of homes. Destroyed private property.  And for what?  To bring Germany to its knees?  Why?  War never! War never again! This war could have been over two years ago if only Roosevelt and the Jew-dominated American war machine weren’t consumed by blood lust and war fever.  Together let us break Adolph Hitler out of his bunker!

From Washington President Truman denies that the war was started to destroy the socialist economic model.

That’s just ridiculous.  I favor socialized health care.  We didn’t start this war.  Germany started it.  We are just bringing it to its logical conclusion.

We are Adolph Hitler has already been nominated for best short film of the year.

Note:  For those wondering what this post is satirizing I now present “I am Bradley Manning.”

I am Bradley Manning


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