Browsing the blog archives for July, 2012

Manhattan Infidel Presents Your Updated Kennedy Malfeasance Template!

The world was shocked yawned, not surprised, couldn’t give a shit when Kerry Kennedy, daughter of Robert Kennedy was arrested on Saturday for driving under the influence of drugs in Westchester County, New York. I first wrote about the Kennedy Malfeasance Template (which I am in the process of copyrighting) in a February post: Kennedy […]

Man Regrets Buying Shōbijin at Garage Sale

Local resident Bob Walker, 43, regrets his decision to buy two shōbijin (literally “small beauties“) at a garage sale. I was originally going to buy his set of Monkees vinyl albums when I noticed this straw lunchbox like thing.  I asked what it was and he said he had a pair of shōbijin in it […]

The Higgs Boson: What it Means for Us

  Like everyone with an insatiable curiosity for Olivia Wilde science I have been following the news from CERN that they have may have discovered the allusive “God” particle known as the Higgs Boson during a high-energy particle accelerator experiment.  Like all of you I had many questions.  What is a Higgs Boson?  What does […]

An Important Message from President Obama

Good afternoon my fellow Americans. As many of you are no doubt aware I am in a fight to win reelection.  My opponent, Mitt Romney, has access to virtually unlimited resources and ill-begotten money.  This money he has no doubt been hiding away in off-shore bank accounts since his days as a corporate raider at […]


Manhattan Infidel to Impose a Tax

Fast on the heels of the Supreme Court’s historic decision to uphold Obamacare, I, the Manhattan Infidel, have decided to levy a tax on all Americans who do not visit my blog and hit up my tip jar. Accordingly, starting on Thursday July 12, 2012, all those who do not visit my blog will be […]


Taliban Execute Fozzie Bear!

Tragic news out of Afghanistan.  Fozzie Bear, well-known comic and best friend of show biz entrepreneur Kermit the Frog was executed by the Taliban while on a good-will tour of the country. Mr. Bear was captured while doing a stand-up performance in the Shinwari district of Parwan Province, in central Afghanistan, less than a two-hour […]

Dodge City Marshall Arrested for Running Prostitution Ring

  Federal Marshall Matt Dillon of Dodge City, Kansas has been arrested after a year-long investigation of “improprieties.” “For 20 years he and his lover Miss Kitty were running a bordello.  How it was able to go on this long I don’t know” said one of the FBI agents involved in the investigation. Though personally […]

My Exclusive Interview with the Statue of Liberty

Today at Manhattan Infidel it is my distinct pleasure to interview a landmark, an icon and a legend: The Lady in the Harbor herself, the Statue of Liberty. MI:  Good morning Miss Liberty SOL:  You got a drink for me? MI:  Um, no sorry.   Let’s start at the beginning.  What do I call you? […]

Americans Applaud End of Freedom!

By an overwhelming vote that crossed partisan lines, congress today voted to end all freedom of choice for all Americans for everything. “It is time we realize that freedom is not absolute” declared Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV).  “People are using their freedoms to make wrong choices.  The wrong foods to eat.  The wrong […]


Happy Fourth of July From Captain James T. Kirk

  Happy Fourth of July America.  Today we celebrate the birthday of a great experiment in liberty and self-government.  So how are we doing?  Have we succeeded?  Let Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise school us.  (And yes I know this clip mentions the Constitution not the Declaration of Independence but if I […]