An Important Message from President Obama

Help me help America.  Where will my next fundraiser be held?

Good afternoon my fellow Americans.

As many of you are no doubt aware I am in a fight to win reelection.  My opponent, Mitt Romney, has access to virtually unlimited resources and ill-begotten money.  This money he has no doubt been hiding away in off-shore bank accounts since his days as a corporate raider at Bain Capital.

I need to raise cash to fight his rich man’s propaganda.  And that’s why I am asking you, the American people to choose who will host my next fundraiser.

My last fundraiser held by the girl from Sex in the City – you know the one who looks like a horse – was very successful.  Anna Wintour was there as well.  I had a great time talking to her.  Though originally she mistook me for a butler and asked me to freshen her drink.

When I told her that she was mistaken and that I was President Obama she apologized and said, “I should have known.  You’re so clean cut and articulate.”  After that we had a fine time talking about the concerns of the common person such as which summer residence in the Hamptons to rent out and are helicopters tax deductible?

There was one embarrassing moment when I turned away from her and she screamed at me to never do that again.  But you know fashion people.  And then she asked me to freshen her drink. And I told her I was President Obama again. And that’s when she slapped me.  But I suppose she was just angered by the thought of a Republican victory in November.  And then she asked me to freshen her drink again.

But anyway that’s not what I want to talk about.  I’m here to ask you, the American people, to help me choose where my next fundraiser will be held.  And for only $40,000 a plate you can join me!

My staff originally wanted to hold a fundraiser at Phil Spector’s residence.  But I understand that he is busy for the next 19 years to life.

The next choice was Roman Polanski.  I felt this would be perfect. He is popular in the show business community and no doubt can help defeat the Republicans and their war on women.

But again, my choice is not what matters.  It’s you, the American people who will decide which Hollywood superstar will hold my next fundraiser.

All you have to do is log onto the White House’s official website and click on the “Defeat the racist Republicans” tab.  Then write in the name of the person you want my fundraiser to be held at.

I just hope that Anna Wintour women isn’t there. After the last fundraiser she made me drive her home.  I kept telling her I was President Obama but she told me not to speak to her unless spoken to.  And then she had me freshen her drink.

President Barack Obama

Washington, D.C.



4 Responses

  1. Anna Wintour asks everyone to freshen her drink. That’s her ‘hello’.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Shamus: Oh, I thought when she asked me to “freshen her drink” she meant “shall I blow you?” Live and learn.

  3. I think Charlton Heston should host Obamies next fund raiser. It ought to be fun to see if the Secret Service try to take his guns away.

  4. She does look like a freaking horse, I always wondered about that one’s success.

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