Browsing the blog archives for January, 2013
This is really getting too easy folks. A past and/or present professional athlete being arrested? That’s so humdrum. It’s like Manhattan Infidel waking up naked with the words “I do your bidding Satan” smeared in blood on the wall. Can’t I write about something else? And was that animal blood or human blood? Anyway for […]
Protocol Droid C3PO was killed in a drone strike in the mountains of Afghanistan yesterday, a Department of Defense spokesman has revealed. C3PO, who was traveling as a good-will ambassador was taken out just before dawn during a prescheduled drone attack. “We had good intel that a high value target was at this location, […]
In the week since Barack Obama was sworn in to his second term in office a scandal has rocked Washington D.C. Known as Lip Synch Gate or Beyonce Gate this scandal threatens the economic recovery begun under President Obama’s watch. I came to Washington with the intent to discover all the facts. But that sounds […]
Recently I received a phone call at the headquarters of Manhattan Infidel from none other than the outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton asking me if I would like an exclusive interview with her. Naturally I agreed. After some preliminary negotiations it was decided to have an informal sit down at a local Italian restaurant. […]
Yet another Friday is upon us. Friday. Or as we like to call it at the worldwide headquarters of Manhattan Infidel, “just another joyless day filled with crap.” And in the spirit of joyless crap we now present yet another horoscope. Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19) Mercury in your sign will help you get straight to […]
In the wake of the Newtown massacre many asked “When will this happen again?” and “Let’s stop school shootings!” I suppose such sentiments are normal. But in my capacity as a member of the mainstream media let me pose this question: Have you considered the many benefits of a school shooting? For there is […]
When Senator Mark Kirk, returning to work a year after his near-fatal stroke, told colleagues that when he was in a coma angels with New York accents appeared to him it naturally got me to thinking. Do angels really have New York accents? So using my contacts on the street I arranged for a […]
In what experts agree is the most important event ever to happen in the history of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama was sworn in for his second term in office as our 44th President. First up was Vice President Biden (pictured here) who was given the oath by wise Latina Sonia Sotomayor. Biden, […]
Famed billionaire industrialist Willie Wonka has shut down his chocolate factory, throwing hundreds of Oompa-Loompas out of work and denying children throughout the world his candy bars. “I didn’t have much of a choice” said Wonka. The EPA was coming after me. The government raised my taxes because they wanted me to pay my “fair […]
Bedrock resident Barney Rubble was shot dead in front of his son’s school today. “This was a tragic incident” said the Bedrock SWAT commander. But given the recent uneasiness over the Newtown school shooting it is understandable what happened. My team acted appropriately and within the rules of engagement. While the incident is still under […]