Browsing the blog archives for December, 2012

Have a Safe and Government-Controlled New Year’s Eve!

  Greetings America from the Department of Homeland Security! The new year is upon us.  Like many of our citizens, documented and undocumented, we are sure that you have exciting new year’s eve plans.  And we here at the Department of Homeland Security would like help you have a great, exciting, safe and government-controlled new […]

Scotty Dismayed by New Graphical Interface Aboard Star Ships

  Captain Montgomery Scott of Star Fleet in his retirement speech expressed dismay at the direction Star Fleet has taken.  He particularly expressed his disgust at the graphical interface aboard the new star ships. In my day an engineer was looked up to and respected.  Sure the Captain got all the glory but the engineer […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents: A Sampling of New York Times Christmas Headlines

‘Tis the season for giving.  And if I ever find that hooker who gave me the clap boy will I give her a piece of my mind! And in the spirit of giving today I have decided to give my readers just a taste of Christmas headlines from the paper of record:  The New York […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents: A Sampling of This Year’s Christmas Specials

Here at the headquarters of Manhattan Infidel our mission statement mentions our pride in disseminating the latest in culture.  And what says culture more than a cheap made for TV movie?  The mission statement also mentions I am lactose-intolerant.  Yet I also love to eat pizza with extra cheese.  While eating ice cream.  And practicing […]

Rudolph Tells Santa to “Shove It!”

In what may have far-reaching implications for Christmas and boys and girls everywhere, Rudolph, reindeer with a nose more colorful than Jim J. Bullock, has told Santa that he will not help him deliver toys this Christmas eve. “Now he wants my help? Now?” said an obviously distressed Rudolph. All I ever wanted was to […]

Bert the Cop to Appear Before Civilian Complaint Review Board

Local policeman Bert the Cop has been ordered to appear before Bedford Falls’ civilian complaint review board following yet another shooting. “On Christmas Eve Bert the Cop did unholster and fire his weapon at a citizen of Bedford Falls” said the mayor. “And if we’re going to have the only cop on the force shooting […]

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

  Recently I was touched to receive the following email from a young reader: Dear Manhattan Infidel. I am eight years old.  Some of my friends say there is no Santa Claus.  Papa says “If you see it in Manhattan Infidel it is so.”  Please tell me the truth.  Is there a Santa Claus?  VIRGINIA […]

Bob Costas Says…..Fire Bad!

  And now as part of my continuing series of posts dedicated to the wit and wisdom of Bob Costas I know present Mr. Costas talking about fire. Thank you Manhattan Infidel and thank you for giving me the chance to address your readers.  For I think it is important to reach out to the […]

Captain Sailing with a Cargo Full of Love and Devotion Questioned by Homeland Security

  Captain Joseph Merrill of the cargo ship Hanine pulled into port on a chilly December morning carrying a cargo full of love and devotion. “You know, it’s the Christmas season and all that” said the captain.  “So if you’d like to know where I got the notion, that’s where I got the notion.” Little […]

Manhattan Infidel’s Exciting Book Deal!

  The life of a blogger can often be a lonely one.  Hours in front a computer.  Lack of companionship. Doubts as to whether one is making a difference.  All the while with one thought going through one’s mind:  Why haven’t my meds kicked in yet?  Did the dealer cheat me out of $2000? That’s […]