My Exclusive Interview with Hillary Clinton

What difference does it make what the meaning of the word “is” is?

Recently I received a phone call at the headquarters of Manhattan Infidel from none other than the outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton asking me if I would like an exclusive interview with her.  Naturally I agreed.  After some preliminary negotiations it was decided to have an informal sit down at a local Italian restaurant.  Mrs. Clinton had only one request:  No questions about Benghazi, which I as a member of the mainstream media was more than happy to comply with.

MI: I want to thank you for meeting with me.

HC:  No problem.  You know Manhattan Infidel I’ve been following your career for some time now.

MI:  Really?  I’m flattered.

HC:  Did you get those photos I sent you?

MI:  Um. Yeah, about that.  I’m sorry but I had to block you.  I suppose you deserve an explanation.

HC: What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  I suppose none.  Anyway.  My first question, how long have you and former President Bill Clinton been married?

HC:  I don’t know.  30, 40 years?

MI:  Well is it 30 or 40 years?

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  Okay.  My next question is an obvious one.  Will you be running for President in 2016?

HC:  I don’t know.  At this point what difference does it make?

MI:  Um.  I, well, it does make a difference.  Many people would like to know the answer to this question.

HC:  With all due respect that fact is we have four dead Americans.

MI:  What does this have to do with – four dead Americans?  Where?

HC:  What difference does it make?

MI:  [Sigh] Maybe we should just enjoy our meal for now.  Look, here come the appetizers.

[A waiter places the appetizers on the table.  Secretary Clinton proceeds to eat.]

MI:  Um.  I think those are my appetizers.  You….you ordered the crab cakes.  I believe those are my mozzarella sticks.

HC:  Can’t talk with my mouth full.

MI:  Can you…..can you please stop eating those.  Look you ordered the crab cakes.  I have them right here.  I ordered the mozzarella sticks.   They must have mixed up our order.

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  None apparently since you’ve already eaten all of my mozzarella sticks. 

HC:  With all due respect I’m eating crab cakes.

MI:  No you’re not.  You’re eating mozzarella sticks.

[Secretary Clinton pulls out a can of mace and proceeds to spray it at Manhattan Infidel]

MI:  Jesus Christ that stings.  Why the hell are you macing me?

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  Psycho!

HC:  Look with all due respect the fact is we have four dead Americans. 

MI: You keep saying that.  

HC:  Would you like to make it five?

MI:  No.

HC:  Good.  I’ll have these crab cakes to go.

MI:  Aha!  So you admit that those are crab cakes and that you ate my mozzarella sticks?

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

[She maces Manhattan Infidel a second time.]

MI:  Will you stop doing that! Jesus I am out of here.

HC:  Wait, don’t go.  I love you Manhattan Infidel!

And so ended my interview with Secretary Clinton.  Readers, this brings up a point of etiquette.  Do not eat someone else’s appetizers.  It’s rude.



5 Responses

  1. The greatest Secretary of State evah. What difference does it make at this point?

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Indeed Jim. As long as we plebes pay due homage to our Socialist leaders what difference does it make?

  3. To be fair to Madame Secretary Senator FLOTUS Hill-Dawg Clinton, she really can’t tell crab cakes from mozzarella sticks. That concussion robbed her of her short-term memory and her ability to differentiate appetizers. Have some freakin’ pity, for God’s sake.

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    King, er, Constitutional Republic Shamus: With all due respect I’m going to have to disagree with you. Even Joe Biden can tell the difference between mozzarella sticks and crab cakes. Or, as he calls them, “boobies and pee pees”.

  5. innominatus says:

    At least she didn’t put you in a “guillotine-cankle choke” submission hold.

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