Recently I received a phone call at the headquarters of Manhattan Infidel from none other than the outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton asking me if I would like an exclusive interview with her.  Naturally I agreed.  After some preliminary negotiations it was decided to have an informal sit down at a local Italian restaurant.  Mrs. Clinton had only one request:  No questions about Benghazi, which I as a member of the mainstream media was more than happy to comply with.

MI: I want to thank you for meeting with me.

HC:  No problem.  You know Manhattan Infidel I’ve been following your career for some time now.

MI:  Really?  I’m flattered.

HC:  Did you get those photos I sent you?

MI:  Um. Yeah, about that.  I’m sorry but I had to block you.  I suppose you deserve an explanation.

HC: What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  I suppose none.  Anyway.  My first question, how long have you and former President Bill Clinton been married?

HC:  I don’t know.  30, 40 years?

MI:  Well is it 30 or 40 years?

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  Okay.  My next question is an obvious one.  Will you be running for President in 2016?

HC:  I don’t know.  At this point what difference does it make?

MI:  Um.  I, well, it does make a difference.  Many people would like to know the answer to this question.

HC:  With all due respect that fact is we have four dead Americans.

MI:  What does this have to do with – four dead Americans?  Where?

HC:  What difference does it make?

MI:  [Sigh] Maybe we should just enjoy our meal for now.  Look, here come the appetizers.

[A waiter places the appetizers on the table.  Secretary Clinton proceeds to eat.]

MI:  Um.  I think those are my appetizers.  You….you ordered the crab cakes.  I believe those are my mozzarella sticks.

HC:  Can’t talk with my mouth full.

MI:  Can you…..can you please stop eating those.  Look you ordered the crab cakes.  I have them right here.  I ordered the mozzarella sticks.   They must have mixed up our order.

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  None apparently since you’ve already eaten all of my mozzarella sticks. 

HC:  With all due respect I’m eating crab cakes.

MI:  No you’re not.  You’re eating mozzarella sticks.

[Secretary Clinton pulls out a can of mace and proceeds to spray it at Manhattan Infidel]

MI:  Jesus Christ that stings.  Why the hell are you macing me?

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

MI:  Psycho!

HC:  Look with all due respect the fact is we have four dead Americans. 

MI: You keep saying that.  

HC:  Would you like to make it five?

MI:  No.

HC:  Good.  I’ll have these crab cakes to go.

MI:  Aha!  So you admit that those are crab cakes and that you ate my mozzarella sticks?

HC:  What difference at this point does it make?

[She maces Manhattan Infidel a second time.]

MI:  Will you stop doing that! Jesus I am out of here.

HC:  Wait, don’t go.  I love you Manhattan Infidel!

And so ended my interview with Secretary Clinton.  Readers, this brings up a point of etiquette.  Do not eat someone else’s appetizers.  It’s rude.

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