Browsing the blog archives for November, 2018

Neanderthal Seeks “Open Concept” Cave

                  The neanderthal Grog has announced that he is seeking a “newer, larger” cave to move his growing family into.  “Hopefully one with an open concept kitchen.” There have been rumors in neanderthal circles that Grog was dissatisfied with his two bedroom one bathroom cave. “Cave have […]

Manhattan Infidel Answers All Your Questions Regarding the Arrest of Michael Avenatti

          Michael Avenatti, renowned lawyer for porn star Stormy Daniels (aka “The bravest, most empowered women in the history of the world because nothing says empowered more than sucking d*ck on camera for money”) was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of domestic battery (aka “beating the everliving shit out of your wife.”) Naturally […]

Manhattan Infidel Presents: The You Are Going to Prison Horoscope

                If there’s one thing my many readers one reader always ask me it’s “What is my horoscope?” when are you going to stop sending me nude selfies. Well worry no more for I have listened to your concerns my lawyer insists on no more nude photos and here is […]

Mueller’s Probe to Wrap Up; Sources Say Trump to be Indicted for Colluding With Russia or Possibly Just Being Mean and Making People Cry

            After a year and a half it appears that the probe into possible Russian collusion in the 2016 Presidential race is coming to a conclusion. As to what Trump will be indicted for (and it is a forgone conclusion he will be indicted for something) there is much speculation […]

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From the Manhattan Infidel Future Archives, September 2019: Broward County Absentee Ballots Still Being Counted

            Ten months after the hotly contested senatorial election between former governor Rick Scott and Senator Bill Nelson the Broward County Board of Elections has promised that its counting of absentee ballots is “Almost finished. No Really. Just back off white boy. Don’t rush us.” “I know you white boys […]

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Veteran Actor Edward James Olmos Murdered by His Mustache!

            Dour, veteran character actor Edward James Olmos was murdered today in Los Angeles by his live-in mustache. “I saw a very serious, unsmiling, dour-looking man running down the street screaming” said an eyewitness. He kept shouting “Help me. My mustache is killing me! Somebody please call the police!” Someone […]

Alec Baldwin Arrested! (Yeah I know! He Seems So Nice!)

                    In the week since superstar actor out of work fat asshole Alec Baldwin was arrested (yet again) for punching someone (yet again) many in the Manhattan Infidel Universe have asked me to provide my feelings on this important subject Baldwin is an asshole or did […]

It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

              So the midterms (aka “The most IMPORTANT event in the history of the world and we are the MSM and you can trust us because what we say is true”) has come and gone. This will be a short post as I worked from 6 am to midnight […]

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America Votes in Mid-Term Elections: Will Socialism Triumph? Manhattan Infidel Ponders the Answer With the Words of Abraham Lincoln

                    “Sitting on a cornflake Waiting for the van to come Corporation tee shirt Stupid bloody Tuesday Man, you been a naughty boy You rejected socialism”  ~ Abe Lincoln, First Inaugural Address March 4th 1861 Tuesday, November 6th, 2018, a day that which shall live in […]

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An Open Letter From Barbra Streisand!

              From time to time I get requests from people to write a guest post no that has never happened. And so in keeping with the time-honored tradition of opening up Manhattan Infidel to other voices again I want to stress that literally no one has  asked to write […]

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