My Exclusive Interview With the Bravest, Most Empowered and Feminist Woman in America

The most empowered women ever!

 

 

 

 

 

 

With our Republic in peril from Orange Man Bad I have decided to interview a woman who has had first hand experience with Orange Man Bad. First hand experience that has left her scarred and ruined her empowering career.  I am of course referring to Stormy Daniels.

MI: Good afternoon Ms. Daniels.

SD: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel.

MI: So let’s cut to the chase. The last year has been difficult for you.

SD: Yes. Yes. Very difficult.

MI: And it’s all Donald Trump’s fault.

SD: Yes. All his fault.

MI: Orange Man Bad!

SD: Orange Man Very Bad!

MI: So specifically how has Orange Man Bad destroyed your life?

SD: He’s destroyed my porn career. Do you know what I enjoy most about doing porn?

MI: Having all your holes plugged by men you’ve never met before. On camera. For money?

SD: Yes that is enjoyable. But I’m an artist as well. I want to produce, write and direct porn. Good porn. Classy porn. Classy porn with multiple holes plugged. But since I did Orange Man Bad no one will take me seriously as an artist.

MI: How much does it cost to produce a porn movie?

SD: Hundreds of dollars. Though the really classy ones, the ones I want to make can sometimes have a budget up to five or ten thousand.

MI: That’s a lot of money. What is the biggest expense doing porn?

SD: The talent. 

MI:  Where do you get the talent?

SD: I usually put an ad in a college paper asking for people looking to break into show biz. When they show up I drug them and film them before they lose consciousness. So technically the drugs are the biggest expense but it’s used on the talent.

MI: I see.

SD: And now because of Orange Man Bad I’ll never be able to advance my porn career into the really classy stuff. Stuff with plots and shit.

MI: So now that Orange Man Bad has blocked your porn advancement what can you do?

SD: I might have to the trashy stuff I thought I had left behind.

MI: Films where you get multiple holes plugged?

SD: Yes. I might have to do bondage porn. Or porn without plots and shit. Instead I might be stuck doing films with shit.

MI: Stuff?

SD: No. Shit. Literal shit. I don’t like being shit on while I’m doing porn.

MI: Okay.

SD: Or worse I might get stuck doing soft porn. SOFT PORN! Soft porn shown only on Friday nights on Cinemax.

MI: And that’s a bad thing?

SD: Yes. How can my fans see my artistry when I’m getting all my holes plugged if it’s scrambled?

MI: I see.

SD: By the way if you give me 200 dollars now i’ll give you producer credit on the classy porn with plot movie I want to produce, write and direct.

MI: No thanks. I”ll pass.

SD: It’s tax deductible.

MI: Here’s 200 dollars.

And so ended my interview with the Brave Stormy Daniels, who hopefully can recover her porn career after the damage done by Orange Man bad.

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