Browsing the blog archives for June, 2011
To celebrate its 15th anniversary next year, James Cameron has released the new “director’s cut” of his movie. “It was time to show the world the movie I intended to make. The movie that should have been made before ‘the suits’ at the studio destroyed my vision” said Cameron. While the two versions are mostly […]
“Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person. Stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire’s eye or on the ball” ~ Jim Murray Tonight the Yankee opened a three-game series against the team that knocked them […]
Lieutenant Commander Data Star Ship Enterprise Dear Commander Data: Thank you for ordering our new and improved model 2300 Android Emotion Chip. We here at Android Emotion Enterprises value your loyalty and continued business. We acknowledge the design flaws with the 2200 series Android Emotion Chip and apologize for any distress it may have caused […]
“What is surprising and delightful is that the spectators are allowed, and even expected, to join in the vocal part of the game. There is no reason why the field should not try to put the batsman of his stroke at the critical moment by neatly timed disparagement’s of his wife’s fidelity and his mother’s […]
Navy Seal Team Six, the elite unit responsible for killing Osama Bin Laden notched another one on its belt today when it took down Mickey Mouse in a firefight at Mickey’s L.A. hideout. The genesis for taking out Mickey came soon after the Bin Laden victory when the Disney corporation tried to trademark the name […]
In the wake of the devastating Weinergate scandal Congress has devised new fool proof methods of keeping its wayward members in line. Standing in front of the the Capitol building, it’s impressively sized dome thrusting itself erect into the sky Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) declared it was time to act. We are men. […]
Good afternoon. As I stand at this podium I feel great remorse. Remorse and shame. I want to take this opportunity to apologize in advance for my future sex scandal involving social media. My future wife, whomever she will be, but I hope it’s this woman, the comely Maggie Lawson from USA’s “Psych” will be […]
House Republicans, led by Speaker John Boehner (pictured here) refused to do their duty to the American people and raise the debt limit. Their reasoning: The United States is struggling under unprecedented debt and cuts must be made to spending before the ceiling is raised. The real reason: They are Republicans and hate black people. […]
New York congressman Anthony Weiner has had a very stressful week. After a photo purporting to be of his crotch was sent to a Twitter follower of his he has had to defend himself and his character. After many days of damage control and disastrous press conferences he has decided to tell his side of […]
Following in the wake of “WeinerGate” many congressmen who have Twitter accounts are taking a fresh look at Twitter and wonder if perhaps they should scale back their access to such new technology. According to a professor at NYU, “many politicians don’t understand the power of this new instantaneous form of communication and the trouble […]