House Republicans, led by Speaker John Boehner (pictured here) refused to do their duty to the American people and raise the debt limit.  Their reasoning:  The United States is struggling under unprecedented debt and cuts must be made to spending before the ceiling is raised.  The real reason:  They are Republicans and hate black people.

After voting against raising the debt ceiling House Republicans gathered in a large group and burned a cross on a black man’s lawn.   Said Boehner (R-OH) “We must take drastic action to reduce our debt.  We cannot continue on this disastrous fiscal road forever!’  At least that’s what Boehner claimed to have said.  But to this reporter it sounded like, “I hate black people and all minorities.”

In direct contrast to the racist actions of the Republicans, House Democrats showed once again how nuanced and intelligent they are by explaining to the American people why the United States must go further into debt.

House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi (pictured here) told assembled reporters that the “Republicans insistence on reducing spending is sinful.  If they continue trying to reduce spending they will lose their souls.” 

She then closed her press conference by being assumed into Heaven.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (pictured here talking to reporters) urged financial markets to remain calm.

We must expect scandal from Republicans.  For they are not as nuanced as we are. But woe to them who doth bring scandal for they shall not receive forgiveness or exemptions from the health care reform package.

He then placed his hands on a reporter and cured his blindness.

Do not doubt your faith in the Democrats.  Sin no more and go redistribute.

Ed. Note:   I have absolutely no evidence that any of the above actually happened.  But as a credentialed member of the media I believe the above narrative closely expresses the spirit behind the debt ceiling vote ~ Manhattan Infidel

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