Browsing the blog archives for June, 2016
Fearing the effects of urbanization and a new eight-lane superhighway near his property, Superman has decided to move out of the Fortress of Solitude. “At first I loved the place” said Superman. It was cold, inhospitable and inaccessible. Just like my heart. Plus the tax code for co-ops is different here in the North Pole so […]
With the news that Harriet Tubman will be replacing white male oppressor pig Andrew Jackson on the 20 dollar bill we hear at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ applauded the measure. However it doesn’t go far enough. Our money has too many dead white male oppressors on it. We must diversify our money. Every […]
The special joint House-Senate committee on 9/11 released their final report today. Among its findings they debunked the myth that Islam was responsible for the attack. “Islam is the religion of peace™” said a member of the committee. Instead of blaming Islam we should put the blame right where it belongs: On ourselves and our macho culture […]
Once again a person who appears to have come from the Middle East and who appears to be Muslim, though at this point we must not jump to conclusions, has committed a mass shooting. In this case the worst mass shooting in American history. But what could have been his motive? Hatred of LGBTs? Was […]
Two Palestinian gunmen opened fired in a crowded restaurant in Tel Aviv, killing four and injuring sixteen. As of this writing no motive has been discovered for the shooting. However police think that perhaps the gunmen were inspired by Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s war on Hispanics. “We believe this explanation fits the facts” said […]
Pope Francis shocked the world today by announcing he is leaving the Catholic Church and converting to Rastafarianism. “We should have known. The signs were all there” said a veteran Vatican watcher. The trip to Jamaica. The love of Bob Marley. He kept visiting the Vatican library and asking for books on Haile Selassie. The […]
With enough delegates to win the nomination, our country’s presumptive 45th President Hillary Clinton addressed her supporters after the California primary. Flanked by her husband, the 42nd President Bill Clinton and their daughter Chelsea, Mrs. Clinton laid out her compassionate program for the future of America. My fellow Democrats. I am now your nominee for […]
Lieutenant Commander Data of the Starship Enterprise announced that he has upgraded his positronic brain to Linux. “I believe this will result in a faster, more efficient, more reliable me” said Data. While my brain does contain 100,000 terrabytes of hard drive space, which is in and of itself a lot, I had to divide it […]
Tragedy struck today as a distracted mother allowed her four-year old son to climb down into the orchestra pit of a theater, gaining access to the musicians. “I heard a scream” said a person who was sitting near the pit. Then the mother started crying, “My baby! He’s in the orchestra pit!” We didn’t know […]
And now for the conclusion of my award-winning series highlighting Gotham’s 31 shades of gender. Read it and weep you hicks who live in towns with only two recognized genders. Two-Spirit An Indian who self-identifies as a native American who self-identifies with both the masculine and feminine genders, as in “Hey, that Elizabeth Warren (pictured […]