A scene of workplace violence in occupied Palestine

Two Palestinian gunmen opened fired in a crowded restaurant in Tel Aviv, killing four and injuring sixteen.

As of this writing no motive has been discovered for the shooting. However police think that perhaps the gunmen were inspired by Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s war on Hispanics.

“We believe this explanation fits the facts” said an Israeli Defense Force official at the scene.

The Palestinians, as peoples of color, are a naturally peace-loving peoples. Why would they commit acts of violence?  Admittedly acts of violence against Jews enjoying their white privilege, but violence nonetheless. There can be only one explanation.  Donald Trump’s words inspired them. Donald Trump is a racist, we all know that. He revels in his racism and has committed hate crimes against the Mexican race. Perhaps these Palestinian gunmen were encouraged by this.  They knew this restaurant in Tel Aviv is a favorite with our Mexican population. They decided to come here to kill. I want to know what Trump has to say about this!

In America the Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton expressed solidarity with the Palestinian people and called upon Donald Trump to eschew heated racial rhetoric.

When these Palestinians opened fire in the restaurant not only were they victims but the entire Palestinian state were victims. We will not let the entire Palestinian race be blamed by the actions of two Republican Donald Trump supporters. What say you, Donald Trump? Do you take responsibility for this?  Were they acting on your orders? Answer these questions now. Americans demand to know.

New York City mayor Warren Wilhelm Jr. (stage name Bill de Blasio) has banned Donald Trump from coming to his city.

New York is the largest Palestinian city in the world. Most of our Palestinians are good people who live in peace as the prophet Muhammad tells them. We also have a large Mexican population, though they mostly ride our subways and entertain us by singing and playing the guitar. We don’t need Trump in our city firing up our peace-loving Palestinians with hatred of Mexicans. So stay out of our city, Mr. Trump. New York does not need you. And take your buildings and your real estate with you. New York does not need your industry.

Mayor Wilhelm, Jr. then ordered flags lowered to half staff in sympathy with the Palestinian people.

From his campaign headquarters, notorious and despicable racist Donald Trump denied any involvement in the shooting.

Neither I, nor anyone involved in my campaign had anything to do with this shooting and our sympathies go out to the Jewish people and their struggle against Palestinian terrorism.

Naturally no one believed the racist, especially since he used heated rhetoric by using the words “Palestinian terrorism.”

On behalf of all progressive Americans, President Obama announced that Trump’s tax returns for the past 35 years will be audited.

“As a good person, it’s the least I can do. Racists such as Trump do not deserve the protection of the law.”

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