Browsing the blog archives for October, 2022
Testing his new electric sleigh, Santa crashed shortly after takeoff. There are no survivors. “We are deeply saddened by the death of Santa and our reindeer comrades” said an elf at Santa’s headquarters in the North Pole. Like all of us, Santa considered himself a steward of the environment […]
With the proper education of the children of America its top priority, the American Federation of Teachers announced today the complete approved list of reading material for 4th graders. “The education of our children is our top priority” said AFT President Randi Weingarten. We exist for one reason: […]
With the midterm elections just two weeks away it is my pleasure to interview the Democratic candidate for Governor of Georgia, Stacy Abrams. MI: Good afternoon Miss Abrams. Sorry I am late. There was a lot of traffic on the roads. SA: I understand. Traffic is rough. Slows […]
Acting on a tip of a strangely anthropomorphic teddy bear that was encroaching on human territory and stealing honey, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service today shot and tagged the bear, nicknamed “Winnie” by his human companion Christopher Robin, in hopes of getting further information on the bear. […]
Acting on a tip, FBI agents today raided a local elementary school looking for suspected white nationalists. “We had good intel that there were white nationalist students in the school” said the agent in charge of the raid. So I gathered up about 100 agents and 30 assault […]
With the midterms just weeks away it is my pleasure here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ to interview none other than the Democratic Senatorial candidate from Pennsylvania John Fetterman. MI: Good morning Mr. Fetterman JF: No gleep butch modo. MI: Um. Okay. If you don’t mind may I […]
In a move that surprised many, People Magazine has named Smeagol “The Sexiest Hobbit Alive!” “There were of course many candidates for the honor” said People’s editor. But when we narrowed it down it all came back to Smeagol. We felt Smeagol had a smoldering sexuality to him that […]
Because I am a well-read intellectual I read a lot of comic books that can mean only one thing: I base all my decisions on what my horoscope says. So for my many readers I now present your horoscope courtesy of the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel.™ Aquarius (January 20-February […]
In an effort to modernize, the United States Air Force Academy has announced that going forward cadets are to use their new guide to inclusive language. “We feel that the most dangerous weapon is language” said a spokesman for the Academy. Oh sure we have nuclear weapons. Sure […]