My Exclusive Interview with Stacy Abrams

Let ‘er rip!








With the midterm elections just two weeks away it is my pleasure to interview the Democratic candidate for Governor of Georgia, Stacy Abrams.

MI:  Good afternoon Miss Abrams.  Sorry I am late.  There was a lot of traffic on the roads.

SA:  I understand.  Traffic is rough.  Slows us all down.  Do you know how as Governor of the great state of Georgia I will solve traffic congestion?

MI:  No. Tell me.

SA:  Abortion!

MI:  Um.  What?

SA:  Abortion!  Under my plan to reduce traffic congestion people will be required to have abortions.  Abortions mean less people.  Less people mean less traffic.

MI:  That’s a rather extreme solution don’t you think?  Surely there must be another way to reduce traffic?

SA:  No.  Only abortion solves our problems.  God gave us the great gift of abortion and I plan to expand its use.  Tired of waiting on line at the DMV? There’s a solution.

MI:  Abortion?

SA:  Precisely.  Home heating bills too expensive during the cold winter months? There is a solution!

MI:  Abortion?

SA:  Yes.  Abort your child.  Less people means you don’t have to keep the house as warm which reduces heating costs.

MI:  I’m not sure that’s how it works.

SA:  Worried about inflation?  There is a solution.

MI:  Let me guess – 

SA:  Abortion!  Your child will only increase your cost of living.  More mouths to feed.  

MI:  I see a pattern here.

SA:  Didn’t like the ending to the Sopranos?

MI:  Abortion?

SA:  Worried about water contamination at Camp Lejeune?

MI:  Abortion?

SA:  Thought the Beatles should have kept Pete Best as their drummer?

MI: Abortion?

SA:  Yes!

MI:  I’m not sure how abortion would solve any of these issues.

SA:  Oh but it will. Abortion will save the world.  In fact, so confident am I that  abortion will solve all of our problems I have constructed a rudimentary time-traveling device.  With this device I will travel back to when I was a fetus and abort myself!

[Candidate Abrams presses a button on the time-traveling device and becomes younger.  Eventually she becomes a child]

SA:  I’m having second thoughts about this.  How do I stop this?  I can feel my mind going.  My consciousness is slipping away.

MI:  I um – 

SA:  No!  I want to live!

[Candidate Abrams returns to a fetal state.  Eventually all that is left on her chair is some stringy, pulpy matter and a blood stain]

MI:  Yeah I’m not cleaning that up.

And so ended my interview with Stacy Abrams.  I’d like to thank candidate Abrams for –

[The fetal matter bursts and Manhattan Infidel is covered in pulpy material]

God dammit!  I told you I am not cleaning up this mess!



2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    I’m confused. Are you somehow denigrating this body positive persyn of color?

    Shame on you, Infidel!

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      I feel much shame. I feel almost like a domestic terrorist. If only the FBI would come and arrest me. I need to confess my sins against womyn of color.

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