Putin’s handiwork!

Stunned Congressional Democrats called today for an independent prosecutor after the sun set in the west.

“This is outrageous” said Maxine Waters (D-CA).

Why is the sun setting in the west?  Four days in a row I’ve seen the sun go down in the west. This is not normal. This is not natural. The sun should be able to set wherever it damn well pleases. This is Donald Trump’s fault. He and Putin are behind it. All green of skin… 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.

“I’d like to thank my colleague Maxine Waters for her frank speech on the importance of dark suede” said Adam Schiff (D-CA).

For dark is the suede that mows like a harvest. Only we Democrats are brave enough to acknowledge this. There should be a Democrat now who has dark suede mowing the harvest. But a Republican is in the White House. Donald Trump stole our dark suede and now he is making the sun set in the west. We all know why he is doing this. His pal Putin wants to destabilize our dark suede that mows like a harvest by having the sun set in the west. I’m sure I don’t have to remind people that the Democrats are the party of science. And when we say the sun should not set in the west then the science is settled.

After Schiff finished speaking and the applause died down former Vice President Al Gore spoke of the dangers of dark suede in the hands of Republicans.

“Global warming is real” Gore challenged his audience.

And unless we take our dark suede that mows like a harvest and put it in a lock box where Republicans and their allies in Russia  cannot get to it sea levels will continue to rise. Our coastal cities will be destroyed. My good friend Leonardo DiCaprio has a mansion and a yacht on the coast. Do we want to endanger his lifestyle? Scientists agree with me. And dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.

The independent prosecutor and well-known patriot Robert Mueller who is looking into possible Russian collusion in the 2016 election has reportedly agreed to expand his probe to include the sun setting in the west.

“Bob Mueller is a friend of mine” said MSNBC host Chris Mattthews.

And if you knew Mueller like I know Mueller you’d know that he will do anything, investigate anything, uncover anything to prove that the Russians are colluding to take away our dark suede that mows like a harvest.

Russian authorities in the Kremlin maintain that they are not responsible for the sun setting in the west.

But isn’t that what you’d expect these dark suede deniers to say?

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